After marking our territory onevery street corner and down each dark alley, we finally stumble upon a convenience store. We tumble inside, braving the harsh fluorescent lighting to do our part in practicing safe sex. My head is floating feet above my body—this time it’s real. This time I’m going to go through with it. Most importantly, Iwantto go through with it. I grab Wes’s hand, letting him lead me through the store. As we walk, he massages my inner palm with his thumb. Even that touch sends warmth to my belly.
I follow Wes down one aisle, then the next, admiring how his shirt hangs loose on his athletic frame, until he finds the section he’s looking for. I hang back, mortified, as Wes stands in front of the condom display with his hands on his hips, studying the selection. How many times has he done this before? A handful? Hundreds? I settle on somewhere in the middle, based on how comfortable he seems. Once he’s selected a box that must meet his expectations, he tosses it to me.
“See if you can make sense of that marketing,” hejokes, before looping his arm around my waist and kissing me again, a long, lingering kiss right in the middle of the aisle that turns my insides to molten lava.
Once we come up for air, I scrutinize the condom box in my hand. I scrunch my face, turning the box to attempt a translation of the Italian phrases. Unfortunately, I didn’t think to brush up on sexual terminology during my brief stint with Duolingo so I’m at a complete and utter loss. But from the very animated cartoon face on the front, the contents inside can only result in satisfied customers.
“Seems like five stars,” I say before I toss the box back, hoping he doesn’t pick up on my naivety from the color in my cheeks.
There’s only one problem. I’m not well practiced in throwing condom boxes, and it is much lighter than I expect. I watch the box soar over Wes’s head. It ricochets against the floor, before sliding like a hockey puck across ice, until it screeches to a halt right in front of two girls in the aisle.
Two very familiar girls.
Anya and Mari glance from me, then to Wes, and then to the box of condoms that just made the loudest sound in the quietest convenience store in all of Italy.
CHAPTER 20
Anya is speedwalking away atan Olympic sprinter kind of pace while Mari struggles to keep up behind her. Meanwhile, I streak out of the convenience store, leaving Wes behind as I frantically run after them. “Anya, Mari, please! Wait a second!”
Once Anya realizes I’m not going to let them go that easily, she pivots furiously in the gravel road, sending an entire dust cloud up around her. “What theshit, Soraya?”
“Okay. I know you’re surprised.” I hold my hands up in surrender. “Please give me a chance to explain.” I quickly realize I do not have the right words whatsoever, but I make my best effort anyway. “Um—so, to start off, I realized that Wes just happened to be vacationing here with his fraternity brothers too.”
“Happened? Just HAPPENED? Don’t treat me like I’m stupid. Nothing JUST HAPPENS when it comes to you and Wes, Sora.” Anya’s face is turning a shade of beet red I’ve never seen on her before, and she’s so mad she’s trembling.
“I was trying to find a time to tell you, Anya.” I do my best to calm her, keeping my voice steady, to no avail. Mari averts her gaze to avoid making eye contact with me. She doesn’t seem angry, just hurt. I’ve been the cause of a lot of that lately.
“So to catch up—you’ve been hanging out with Wes this entire time?” Anya asks.
Queasiness washes over me. I press my eyes tightly shut and pray to every single god I can think of that if there is a way to teleport, this is the moment they rain that magic down upon me. I don’t know how I’m going to explain all of this. “Not theentiretime. Only when you guys don’t want to go out. The dead time. It hasn’t interfered with our plans at all.”
“Wait—was he the entire reason you wanted to come here? The reason for this whole trip? Why you refused to start in London or Paris?” I can see the wheels in Anya’s head spinning as she strings together the sequence of events. She has smoke coming out of her ears; she’s livid. She thinks she’s been played.
“That’s not it at all,” I say pleadingly. It’s true that I had begged to align our time on the Amalfi Coast with Wes’s, but our grad trip had nothing to do with that. And no matter what I say, nothing will make that believable.
“Don’t deny it. You pushed and pushed for us to start here. And now it’s obvious that was only so you could be with Wes. All your texting in the airport. All your texting this entire trip. All your mood swings.” Then Anya startslaughing, which makes everything so much worse. “Wait. Was he why you were in such a horrible mood earlier? Was it because you couldn’t start this little date earlier?” Anya is waving her hand wildly. She points to my outfit. “You left the room in a grungy hoodie. What happened to your clothes?”
“I was wearing this underneath,” I say, my voice small.
“I should have known. It’s always about Wes.” Anya bends over, shaking her head. “Unbelievable.”
I look pleadingly to Mari, but she is still standing there, looking crushed. Hurt.
“I’m sorry, guys. I really, really am. To both of you. I should have been honest.” I am starting to shiver, and I cross my arms over my chest to try to control it. But nothing I’m saying is making things better.
“I missed Lorena’s graduation for this, Sora,” Mari says. “I asked to leave a few days later, and you said it would mess everything up. But that was all because of Wes, wasn’t it?”
My stomach drops. “You didn’t miss it completely,” I say meekly. “You still streamed it. You saw it.”
“You know that’s not the same, right?” Mari asks, her voice flat.
I scuff the toe of my shoe against the pavement. “Yeah, I guess not.”
“Do you realize what I had to do to make this trip possible? Do you know my mom picked up almost ten extra shifts so she could buy this flight for me? You obviouslydon’t, because you don’t think about anyone but yourself. You bulldoze everyone in your path until you get your way.” Anya’s voice is cracking. “I worked so hard to go on this trip so I could spend time with you two before we go off to school. But I guess we were just your filler companions.”
My throat is tight, but I attempt to defend myself at least a little. “You have to know that’s not true. I didn’t know that about your mom, and I care so much about this trip with you guys. That’s why I fought so hard for us to do this together. I was never trying to take away from the time we scheduled with one another.”
“Why do you think only the things you care about matter?” Anya asks.
