He nodded slowly, the surprise in his eyes refocusing into seriousness. “I should have. Though in truth, there has been nothing to divulge save for the past few weeks. We met some time ago, but I’ve only just admitted my feelings to myself—once I realized she never quite left my thoughts. But by then, I did not know what to do, not with the promise I’d made to you.”
His eyes met mine, focused and intent. “You are the most important person in the world to me. Since your mother passed, you’ve been my first priority. We’ve been a team, you and I. So I should have told you, and I am truly sorry that you discovered the truth before I could tell you myself. You must have thought—well, I can’t quite imagine. And I am sorry. Can you forgive your old Papa for his poor judgment?”
Tears welled in my eyes, and I wiped them with the backs of my shaking hands. I did not need his promises; I just wanted his truth. He’d tried to protect me. And he loved me.
“I want you to be happy,” I said thickly. “And I never want you to keep such secrets from me.”
He moved to my bench and put his arm around me. “I shan’t. I promise, I shan’t ever again. Indeed, I spoke with herabout our promise just now in Bath. And she understands. She supports me. I’ve told her my intentions, and now I feel bound to tell you the same. I love her, Anna. I would very much like to introduce the two of you, knowing that absolutely nothing will be made permanent until you are ready.”
“I am happy for you, Papa. Truly, I am.” I angled my knees toward his. “And I would very much like to meet her.”
“You would?” Papa straightened. There was hope in his eyes, and my heart startled. I wondered how I’d missed it. The joy. The happiness that once hadn’t been there.
“But there is something I must also admit,” I said.
Papa covered my hands with his. “Tell me. What has happened?” His voice was serious and business-like.
I took a deep breath. Where to start? Where had it all begun—truly? “I told Mr. Everett—Graham—that I did not want him to invest with you ever again.”
Papa reared back. “Anna. But, why? Why would you say that? Mr. Everett is a good man.”
“I grievously disliked him, Papa. Every time he visited, he took you from me. Sometimes when I needed you the most. Like this past Season. I thought I had everything in hand, but I was wrong. I chose wrong. The whole of London has heard how stupid I’ve been.”
“Not if the engagement was kept secret,” Papa said quickly. “Lennox will wish to keep his own transgressions quiet, despite his failed attempt to win you. I will make sure that whatever story might reach the papers reflects favorably on you. Indeed, I will ensure that the Lennox name is never entwined with ours again.”
I stifled a cry and fell into his side. “Thank you, Papa.”
“I only wonder why you did not tell me in the first place. Why did you keep such a great burden to yourself?”
“I meant to tell you that night after dinner. But then Graham came, and you were so interested in his investment.”
“I see.”
“Besides, it’s a bit humiliating to admit that I am so terrible a judge of character. I thought Mr. Lennox a saint, and Graham a loathsome snake. And I’ve botched everything.”
Papa sat back, shoulders drooping. “Darling, you’ve not botched anything. We can put all this to right. You and I will start anew. No more secrets. If Everett’s investment is not sound, then I shall tell him so, and he will understand.”
“No. The investment is sound,” I groaned, covering my face in my hands.
“Then why—”
“Perhaps I’ve gone mad. Ifeelmad trying to explain. In truth, yes, in the beginning, I had every intention of rejecting the investment and invalidating Graham’s claims. I loathed him. I thought him arrogant and overconfident and brimming with greed.
“But then this week, I met his family. I sat at his table and listened to them bantering and laughing, watched how they play together and support each other. I see now why you care for him. Perhaps why you’ve taken him as a protégé of sorts. Grahamisa good man. He is kind and honest and incredibly aware. He treats me like an equal, as someone with thoughts and intelligence, with feelings and dreams. Before this week, I did not understand what it felt like to be understood, and loved, by someone.”
Papa fell silent. I’d shocked him, like he’d shocked me. But we both deserved to lay our cards openly on the table.
Slowly, I continued, “He and I—because of your relationship—have spent quite a lot of time together over the years. Some memories are better than others. Some, hopefully, more easily forgotten.”
“Annie, what exactly are you saying?”
“I love him, Papa.”
Like a wave crashing into my heart, memories flooded me, and I remembered the way Graham had looked at me when I tried on his spectacles, how he’d offered me a blanket after dropping me in the sea, how our laughter had entwined as we played the alphabet game, and how closely he’d held me dancing. The spicy smell of his shave.
I missed him already. I missed his home. Tabs, Ginny, their mother, even their shabby-armed settee. I wouldn’t change it. I wouldn’t changethem.
Papa’s eyes had grown round as saucers.
