I had no one.
Not even Graham, whom I’d been foolish enough to trust. To love. He’d been playing our old games this whole time. He would do anything to win my father’s approval, even keep a secret he’d known would break me.
“Anna—” Mr. Lennox followed me, but he stopped short of reaching my side. The most decent thing he’d ever done was lend me privacy after such a blow. “You must feel incredibly betrayed. I certainly would.” The rocks shifted under his feet as he took a single step closer. Please consider my offer. Should you not wish to return with your father, you are most welcome to stay with me at my cousin’s home for the nextfew days. We can prepare further details together. Anything you need—anything at all—you need only send word. I am at your service.”
I said nothing, only wrapped my arms around my middle and begged the tears not to fall. Not in so public a place. Not when I had no choice but to face Graham. I would not let him see me so affected.
I felt the air change as Mr. Lennox turned to go. His offer was a double-edged sword. To choose him would be the biggest mistake of my life. It would be a life of loneliness, for he’d never be faithful. He’d never truly love me.
The rocks crunched beneath boots behind me once more. Different steps this time. Hesitant, slow. I did not turn my head, but I could feel Graham an arm’s length away, silent and tense.
I thought he might stand there forever. Or perhaps until the tide rose and swept us both away.
“Does he speak the truth?” I asked, proud of how strong my voice sounded.
Graham moved to my side, and I shifted away.
The tide crashed against the rocks once, twice, then he said, “Her name is Ms. Abigail Peale.” His words were quiet, calm, even. “She’s a widow, no children, very lovely, and very taken with your father.” Details lined up like they were statistics, figures in a business proposal. “We’d traveled to Bath to consider an investment, and they met. And, yes, we’ve visited several times since to see the investment through. There were dinner parties, dancing. Though this past week, sheinvitedhim. He didn’t tell you because—”
“Why didyounot say something?” I looked up then, exasperated and surprised by the tremor in my voice, the waymy heart ached and echoed sadness like an empty hall in a tall, abandoned house.
Graham’s shoulders sank; he lowered his voice. “We haven’t exactly been sharing secrets of late, Anna. This one was not mine to tell.”
He should have told me. If he had any regard for me at all, he should have told me. “How long have they been acquainted?”
Graham looked down at his boots, then kicked at the rocks between us. “Since last year. But only seriously the past few months.”
My heart fell to the ground. “A year?” I breathed.
My throat ached with emotion I could not release, and I tried to swallow it down, but tears threatened instead. Papa had promised me he would not entertain the idea of marriage before I wed. Promised that we’d always have each other. And after Mr. Lennox I’d been relying on that fact. That I wouldn’t be left to navigate Society alone.
Graham reached out again, this time handing me his handkerchief.
I took it and turned away from him to compose myself.
“Anna, I’m so sorry,” Graham started. “He should have told you. I assured him you would understand. That you’d be happy for him.”
“Youassured him?” My voice cracked as I rounded on Graham. “Why are you and my father conversing privately about matters inmylife that have no bearing whatsoever on yours?”
He stepped back on instinct. “You’re upset with me.”
I wiped my nose on his handkerchief, scoffing. “Brilliant, Graham. I can see you’ve used your education well.”
He raised his hands in a show of surrender. He was an island all his own, declaring no alliance, friend to all. But I didn’t want neutrality. I wanted his allegiance. I wanted the truth, or I wanted to be rid of him. I’d rather be alone than lied to.
“Try to see things from your father’s perspective. He promised you he would not marry until you did—”
“How do you even know about—”
“—but then he met someone.” Graham raked an impassioned hand through his hair. “Someone ... unexpected. What was he to do? Let her slip through his fingers? He tried to temper his feelings, I assure you, but he simply could not.”
I leaned my head back to keep the tears from falling and pinched the top of my nose. This was all too unreal. Too unbelievable. And too soon after Mr. Lennox. I’d thought everything would be well if only I’d removed myself from London, and yet, lies and deceit had followed me, even from the one man I trusted fully. I was in a terrible nightmare, and I could not wake up. I clutched my neck.
“I do not know what to do. I cannot breathe.”
“I am certain he means to tell you when he returns. In truth, in his study before we left, he nearly gave her up because he feared your reaction. He loves you.” Graham nearly pleaded.
I looked at him. I could feel the sincerity behind Graham’s words, but the frustration in my chest made me want to scream. “Why do you defend him? The only man I have ever fully trusted has hidden a whole second life from me. If you care for me at all—” I stopped myself, too hurt to be embarrassed, and lowered my voice. “You of all people should understand what that feels like.”
