“I love you, Ben,” I said, for I could not make a promise I could not keep. “I will consider your words.”
Ben pulled out his handkerchief and wiped my cheeks dry. “If you care at all for our family, please, for one night ...” Ben looked at me as though I might take flight.
I looked down at the grass. Where would I go? WherecouldI go? I’d promised my hand to one man, but I’d given my heart to another. And something had to be done about it.
ChapterTwenty-Five
Gravel crunched, then a soft pattering told me the duke was near. I caught sight of a polished pair of brown Hessian boots that strode around and stopped beside Ben’s.
I curtseyed. “Your Grace.”
Marlow’s gaze fell heavily upon me, but I was too afraid to look up.
“Miss Newbury,” he said gruffly. “I trust you are more comfortable now.”
Ben stepped sideways, and I took in a slow, steadying breath as I looked up. Marlow wore evergreen velvet coattails over a white shirt and gray vest. Someone had also broughthimnew clothes. A clean cravat, doubly tied, was pinned with a diamond stud as it had been in times past.
Our eyes locked, and for a moment, I remembered how I’d felt when we’d first met. Charmed. Giddy. Like a little girl who’d longed to become a princess.
This time, whatever allure he’d held dissipated. A handsome man stood in front of me, but he was just a man. Everything about him was polished and pressed and perfected. Even his subdued smile and the way he held his hands behind his back.
“I am well, thank you,” I said. “Forgive me for keeping you waiting.”
Ben looked between us, then said, “Your Grace, is there anything I can do to—”
“Leave us,” Marlow said without blinking. “We shall walk home.”
Ben’s brow furrowed, but he nodded. He bowed, and our eyes met for the slightest second. Just long enough for me to sense his worry.
What would Marlow do? What would he say, now that he had me alone?
A servant approached with Ben’s horse, so he strode toward him and mounted.
Marlow, silent and towering, flicked his hand, and his two servants joined us. Then he raised his arm for me to take, and said, “Come.”
Slowly, I laced my arm through his. I looked up at Ivy Manor, at the windows high on the building, and pictured Charlie lying in his bed with Liza nearby. My stomach dropped to my toes. I felt more ill than if I’d eaten a hundred cheesecakes, more trapped than I had ever felt alone in my bedchamber, and more dismal than a girl with no prospects at all.
Marlow must have sensed my feelings as we walked down the drive, for he said, “His surgeon is well trained. And your friend, Miss Ollerton, will settle and feel much better by morning.”
“Thank you, Your Grace,” I said. And I meant it. Marlow did not deserve to be abandoned. But what could I do?
“You are most welcome.”
Despite his words, I felt completely out of place. This was wrong. I did not fit here. Rolled gravel crunched beneath our feet.
“Miss Newbury, I was harsh earlier, but I hope you do not mistake my intentions as lack of care. You set out in a very precarious way, and as my intended, as the future duchess, you simply cannot abandon everything and run off as you did.”
I chose my words carefully, thoughtfully. “Yes, Your Grace. A future duchess would never do such a thing.”
“You are fortunate that I came along in time. I’ll admit, I had no intention of surprising you early. But my mother insisted the wedding would seem more natural if we grew accustomed to one another beforehand.” He seemed to stand taller, like the trees that lined either side of the road we walked upon.
I swallowed hard. There was silence for several steps. “And what happens if we do not grow accustomed to one another?”
He looked amused by my question. “Then we shall do what all of Society does. We shall pretend.”
I nodded slowly. Pretend. For the rest of my life he wanted me to pretend to love him. Perhaps before Charlie I could have. Maybe I still could. But now that I knew the difference, staying with Marlow would be subjecting myself to a life of misery.
His eyes smiled down at me as we rounded the bend. He was hopeful and somehow both gentle and commanding. After everything that happened, everything I’d done, he was trying to make this arrangement work. That was more than many wives could say of their husbands. For some other woman, he’d make a fine companion.
