He balled his fists. “He admitted attraction, affection, but claimed he would never act upon it. And fool that I am, I believed him.”
“He did?” My chest tightened. Charlie loved me. “What else did he say?”
“He told me about your list and all you’d done together, the three of you, and how desperate you were to see it through before marrying the duke. He promised to inform me of your whereabouts and to keep you out of danger. He even told me of your plan to ‘run away’ to Dover.”
Ben laughed mirthlessly. “I told Mother and Father that you went to London so Mother wouldn’t worry or try to bring you back before you were finished with that ridiculous list. But then the duke arrived. He apologized for being early and asked to see you.” Ben shook his head. “Imagine my mortification when he started to set out for London to meet your party. I had to tell him the truth, apologize for my deceit infront of Father, then direct him to Dover instead.”
I covered my face with my hands. Charlie had told Ben everything. I should be angry that he’d decided to speak to Ben without my knowledge, but how could I be? He’d ensured my progress would not be stopped because he wanted to keep me safe. Because he loved me.
“I am so sorry, Benjamin.”
Ben folded his arms across his chest. “I let you go.Ilied to Mother and Father, I put my trust in Winston, so I cannot blame him, but I also cannot deny that had he been a responsible man of honor, he wouldn’t have found himself in this predicament at all. And with you and Liza in tow.”
“How could he have known? What Lord Langdon did is not Charlie’s fault.”
“But it is. Itis, Ros. His leaving his family, the choices he’s made thus far—it all has accumulated to this. And I cannot support my only sister trying to attach herself to a man like that when she can have a duke. I am sorry.” He drew in a shallow, unsteady breath.
My little brother stood tall in front of me, unraveling, then piecing himself back together for my sake.
I swallowed hard, wiping my eyes. There was one piece Ben did not yet understand in his eighteen years of life. One crucial factorhehad yet to experience.
“I love him.” My voice tremored. “Ben, I loveCharlie.”
His eyes searched mine. “You hardly know him. Nor of his past.”
“You’re wrong.” I stepped forward, reaching for his arm. I wanted him to hear me and truly understand that the choice I was making was anchored and deeply rooted, not just a silly whim from a silly list. I wanted Ben to understand that I would not take away a title from our family for anything—nor anyone—less.
“I love who Charlie was before his brother died, and who he is now because of it. I love what he learned about himself in the time between. He admittedly made poor choices, but he owns them. He looks forward to starting anew. He is a good man. And as wise as you are, perhaps you cannot yet understand how love can change everything.”
Ben shook his head again.
He didn’t understand. Could anyone, really, without being changed like this firsthand?
He grabbed my arms and gently squeezed. “You didn’t get a Season. You have not experienced this sort of attention before. I regret that Winston came before the duke, but I truly believe if you only give Marlow the same chance—”
“I’ve met him before. Several times. And not once did he make me feel how Charlie makes me feel over and over again. Charlie and I ... We get on so easily. Our conversation makes me wish to never be out of his company. He understands me, my dreams, my notions as though they are as much a part of him as they are a part of me. And I finally feelreadyto start a life with someone. We are different, and we have our own struggles, but I choose him.”
Ben clenched his jaw in evident frustration. “Has Winston offered for you? Has he hinted at it?”
“No,” I admitted. “But he wouldn’t. Not while I’ve committed myself elsewhere. I am more sorry than you know to reject a title for our family. I understand what that means for us. For you. I am truly, truly sorry. I will speak with the duke directly.”
Ben glanced behind us as though worried the duke had overheard me. But he was too far away. “Rosalind, have you heard a word I’ve said? This is utter madness.”
“I know, and I’m sorry.”
“I do not worry for myself. I will live fine with or without your title, though I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t disappointed.”
No matter what he said, I knew my brother wanted this connection. He’d depended on it. And who could blame him?
I had wanted it too. When I’d signed the contract, I’d imagined myself as a duchess, married to Marlow and running his home, managing his social engagements, bearing his heir. And yet I could not imagine it anymore. The thought of standing beside any man that wasn’t Charlie made me ill.
“I’m thinking of you,” Ben said. “Perhaps of things you have not yet considered. Winston is practically estranged from his family. How can you know they will be accepting of him? Of you?”
I thought of Charlie’s grandmother. How loving and kind and forgiving she was. She’d understood, and she’d accepted him so easily because there was love between them. Pain, yes. But love and understanding.
“They will be.”
His gaze flicked over my shoulder. “The duke is walking this way. Please, Ros, consider with caution. Do not make any rash decisions tonight. As your brother, Ibegyou.”
