Molly must have sensed my discomfort, for she squeezed my arm, and said, “Everything will come together. Do not fear. I have heard the duke is a kind and forgiving man.”
I rubbed my hands over my face. If that were true, I’d brought the worst out in him. Was it wrong that I did not want him to forgive me? Part of me wished he’d leave and never return so that claiming what I wanted would be easy. But I knew what that would do to my family.
I had to face him. But even as I thought the words, my legs went weak.
Molly held fast to my arm, holding me up. “Are you tired? Shall we rest?”
My mind was fuzzy. Tired, yes. All over. But the pain in my chest was encompassing. I needed to be with Charlie. I needed to see him, to care for him. To be certain he would live.
“There was so much blood,” I said through my tears. “And Charlie was in so much pain. I could not help him. I could not stop it.”
“The surgeon will attend to his wounds.” Molly took my face in her hands and brushed away my tears. “Mr. Winston is not your responsibility nor your priority. The duke is.”
The duke. No, that would never be right. Marlow was a stranger to me. I did not know anything about his family or his passions or his fears. Charlie, I knew. I did not want to move toward Marlow because the only place I belonged was with Charlie.
But before I could take another step, the door to Ivy Manor opened, and Benjamin walked out, his eyes downcast. He looked to where Marlow stood across the drive but strode the shorter length toward me.
Ben kept his voice low. “Rosalind, what were you thinking, running off to Dover?”
“Is Charlie well? Will he live?” I whispered. “Please, I must know.”
“As long as infection does not set in, he will recover,” Ben said. His shoulders sagged and he looked like he’d aged ten years, but I felt more relief in that moment than in all my life.
I tried not to cry. He would live. Charlie would live.
Molly took her leave, retracing our steps back to the house.
Ben took my hand and turned me away from Marlow. “Charlie is asleep now, but he asked after you, earlier.”
“What did he say? What can I do?” I asked, wiping my eyes and stumbling as I followed him. I was too eager. Too obvious.
Ben cleared his throat, and I instantly regretted the emotion in my voice. But I could not hide the fact that I loved Charlie. Not anymore.
“I told him you were going home. Where you belong. The surgeon wants him in bed for the next few days. Then you may visit him to say goodbye before the wedding.”
I stepped back, cursing the swell in my throat and the tears pooling in the corners of my eyes. Ben would be devastated to hear the truth. They all would be. But I had to tell them.
“I cannot do that.” My voice came out choked, and I blinked back my tears. “I do not want to marry Marlow.”
He stared at me for a long moment as his brow furrowed more and more, and then he forced a laugh. “Of course you do.”
“I don’t expect you to understand, but I hope you will forgive me in time. I cannot marry the duke, because I wish to marry Charlie.”
For a moment, I thought he hadn’t heard me. His face relaxed, and his lips parted slowly. “Charlie?”
I nodded solemnly.
“Charles Winston.” He wiped his mouth. A muscle jumped in his jaw, and his eyes met mine with a fierce glare. “That picnic.”
I hurried to clarify. “I did not realize then—”
“Hesworeto me.” Ben’s hands shook. His voice rang in the air, uncontrolled and fierce, but he quickly lowered it. “The man gave mehis word!”
I stepped back, glancing over my shoulder to where Marlow still stood, talking with the servants. I turned back to Ben. “Whatever do you mean?”
His eyes were daggers. “He swore nothing had happened between you that afternoon.”
“Nothing did!” I reached out, but Ben flinched away and shook his head.
