Twenty-four
Nate
Avoiding Becca is easier the week of the family visits, because there are so many people to be shuttled around and kept separate that all the producers are scattered. It should feel like a relief but it doesn’t, because I miss her with this constant ache that never goes away. I would have missed her if she went hom e, of course, but maybe then I could have called her.
Not that she would have wanted to hear from me. She’s made it quite clear that I was a mistake she doesn’t care to repeat. I wish my brain would get with the program and stop conjuring memories at the oddest times, stop running through our one glorious moment together on constant repeat in my dreams.
If my heart wasn’t so tender over it, I might have broken my one-night-stand rule and found someone willing to help me work out the tension, but I don’t want anyone but Becca.
Becca, on the other hand, apparently now wants Preston. Good for her, I guess. He made good on his vow to keep her another week. Maybe he’ll keep her all the way to the end and they’ll get married and live happily ever after.
Whatever. It’sfine.
But, of course, it isn’t. So, on the day Preston and Becca are going to have lunch with her kids and her in-laws, I’m hiding in the production suite, checking on the flights of Addison’s parents and siblings who are due to arrive tonight.
The door to the suite is propped open, and I’m working on one of the production laptops, so I don’t seeThea come in until she’s standing right in front of me. She’s got a sign in her hand that saysWhere is Nate??, which I’m guessing she flashed at the other producers until someone pointed her in my direction.There’s no interpreter in sight.
“Hey,Thea,” I sign at her. I still don’t know much, but I can say that.
Thea is glaring at me, and I wonder if she’s mad that I wasn’t assigned to keep them company this time. Or, rather, I was, but then I asked Olivia to do it, making some excuse about not being good with kids.
Thea pulls out a notepad with the hotel logo on it and starts scribbling.Then she thrusts it at me.
What did you do to my mom?!it says.
Oh, god. So many things. None of which I’m going to discuss with her. I take the paper and pen, motioning for her to sit down in one of the other chairs at this little breakfast table.Thea plops down as I write,The show found out the truth about your dad, and it was my fault—but I didn’t do it on purpose.I follow this with a row of frowning faces and hand the paper back to her.
Thea looks down at the paper and then up at me.They know?she writes.
I nod at her, then add,Your mom is handling it very well, though. It’s going to be okay.
Thea’s brow furrows at the paper, and then she sets the pad on the table, sheltering it with her arm as she writes like she’s afraid I’ll cheat off her answers.
I sigh and push my laptop away. No one has shown up in the doorway looking forThea, so I guess we’re doing this, then.
I asked her if you’re pretend nice or real nice, and she says she doesn’t know anymore,Thea has written when she shoves the pad back at me.Which one is it?
I’m not going to pretend to be an asshole just so that Becca can feel better about herself.I didn’t pretend, I write.
But you told about my dad?Thea asks.
I shake my head.No. I told your mom there were no cameras, so she thought she could talk to me about it. It turned out there were cameras, but I didn’t know they were there. I shouldn’t have told her it was safe when it wasn’t, but I didn’t do it on purpose.
My handwriting is even messier than usual, andThea squints at it, but she seems to understand.
Did you tell her you loooooove her?Thea writes.
Shit. I didn’t. And I’m not about to now. Instead of writing a response, I giveThea a skeptical look, which she seems to correctly read as a no. I grab the paper from her and add,I think she likes Preston now.
Oh my god. I am now passing notes about my sad, disintegrated love life with a ten-year-old. I am back in fourth grade.
I don’t think so,Thea responds.She still likes you. She can’t like him, too.
I draw a sharp breath and try not to take that too seriously. Did BeccatellThea she still likes me? Probably not. ProbablyThea is just inferring. She might be a really sharp kid, but she can still be wrong.
She was invested in Becca and me. She’s just seeing what she wants to see.
A person can like two people, I write.But I don’t think she likes me anymore.
