“I’m scared I’ll never fall in love again!” Calista calls.
Both Destyny and Genesis look suspiciously across at the other, and then finally Destyny says quietly, “Me too.”
“Me too,” Genesis says, and she stares at Destyny like she’s been cheating off of her answers.
“Keep going, ladies!” Monroe says, and I’m starting to feel superfluous here, now that I’m not having to coach Kate to keep moving. We’re all about a third of the way down the cliff now, and I lean back far enough to catch a glimpse of the belayers behind us.
Everything looks good. I can even see Emily standing on a rock next to Geoff, a hand over her eyes to shade her from the sun.
Then Monroe says, “What about you, Jason?”
“Um,” I say. “What about me?”
“What are you afraid of?”
Shit. Lots of things I don’t want to shout off a cliff. I look up at the cameramen hanging over the edge of the cliff on ropes of their own.They’re getting every second of this.There will probably be a whole episode about it. I can’t just shout some random thing, but—
“I’m afraid of change,” I say.
“I’m afraid of acne!” Calista adds.
“Me too!” Kate says. “Acne is the worst!”
“What about bacne?” Destyny says. “I’m even more afraid of bacne!”
“I’m afraid of STDs!” Genesis yells. “And people thinking I’m not religious enough if I have sex!” She pauses, and then, louder still, she shouts, “And I’m afraid of giving blow jobs!”
“I knew it!” Destyny says, and Monroe gives her a sharp look.
“We’re all beingsupportivehere,” she says, trying to shout over them all.
That’s when I hear swearing from the cliff above us, and a high-pitched yelp that can only be—
Oh shit.There’sTiberius, his nose poking over the edge of the cliff, his little paws perched right on the edge.
“Holy—” I say. “Someone get that dog!” I pull out my radio, which goes to Geoff belaying me below but also several crew members up on the cliff. “Someone get a hold of that fucking dog!”
“Don’t talk aboutTiberius like that!” Monroe yells, and I think it’s the sound of his name that sends him scuttling forward.
I stare upward in horror as he scrambles, as if realizing at the last second that he’s gone too far, and then slips, plummeting down over the edge of the cliff in his sparkly cape like some superhero whocan’t fucking fly.
Ohhellno. I grip the rock with my shoes and launch myself along the cliff, over the ropes of a shrieking Monroe, which isn’t something I would ever suggest that someone do in normal circumstances. I hold the ropes up so they don’t get tangled and reach out with one hand as the dog plummets toward us—
I catch him with one hand, kicking back and falling into position beside Monroe. I have to dig in with my toes to keep from knocking into Genesis, but I manage it, palming this five-pound bundle of fur and insanity that quivers for a moment and then looks up at me with round, dark eyes.
Tiberius blinks at me, stunned, and I have to shimmy to the side to keep Monroe from grabbing him out of my arms and probably dropping him fifty feet to the ground.
“My baby!” Monroe cries.
Tiberius looks over at Monroe just once, and then he focuses his beady eyes back on me. His lip curls back and he lets out a low warning growl.
Shit.
I let go of the ropes, leaning all the way back in the harness, not even trying to keep my feet on the wall. I’m just hanging here, now, and I wrap both my hands aroundTiberius, because I know what’s coming.
The dog snaps toward my wrist, and I struggle to keep hold of him while he begins yapping up a storm and trying to chew off the hands of the person keeping him from becoming a doggy pancake on the ground below.
“Damn it!” I shout. “Hold still!” I’m trying to wrap him up in the cape to block his little demon-sharp teeth, but he’s wiggling too frantically and the cape is some goddamn slippery silk. He gets a good bite into me and I swear some more, then shove him under my arm in a headlock with one hand under his chin so he can’t twist to bite me. He manages to get a nip in on my inner bicep, and I let out a guttural yell, and then he’s still.
