“I guess Emily talked to you,” he says sheepishly. He runs a hand through that long swath of hair that hangs over one eye, brushing it back. It flops back in place immediately.
“You had just asked her to be your girlfriend! And then you sleep with some—”
“Keep it down, okay?” He narrows his eyes. “It’s not like it’s your business, anyway.”
My rage burns even hotter. “The hell it’s not! Emily is my friend, and I set you two up because I thought you liked her.”
Tate shrugs. “I did. I do.” He fiddles with the buckle on the strap of his duffel bag. “I’m just not really a one-woman kind of guy.”
I want to kill him. He may be my cousin and I may have lots of happy family memories with him, but right now I just want to kill him on behalf of all women everywhere.
“Why did you ask her to be your girlfriend, then?” I seethe, my hands balled into fists at my sides. “Why did you even act like you wanted to be with her at all? YouknowEmily hates . . .” I trail off, seeing the way he looks uncomfortably off to the side.
And suddenly it all fits together—him talking about Emily so fondly in the very same conversation where I’d brought up the possible networking opportunities at YouCon, all the connections that both Emily and I have, him sleeping with one of the contacts Emily introduced him to . . .
“You used usboth,” I say, taking a step back, my mouth dropping open. God, does my stupidity have any limit? Apparently not. It is a bottomless well that I draw from over and over again. “You used me to get you here and set you up with Emily, and you were using her for all her contacts.”
He rolls his eyes, but his shifting stance tells me it’s true. “It wasn’t like some criminal master plan, Su-Lin. Emily and I had fun. She’s a big girl. She knew what she was getting into.”
“How could she, when youliedto her? When you said you wanted her to be your girlfriend?”Tears are stinging my eyes again, and my chest is tightening. “When you made her think you liked her, and you wanted something more, and then youusedher?” My mind flashes back to Jane and Brendan, all wrapped up in each other.
It’s not the same thing. It’s not the same thing, and Brendan would never have meant to use me, but god, it hurts and hurts . . .
Tate narrows his eyes. “Do you even hear yourself? Geez, it’s like we’re in middle school or something. Emily and I are adults, and it’s more complicated than that.”
“More complicated?”Than you having sex with someone who isnotyour girlfriend?”
“God, just grow up, Su-Lin!” He yells, and I freeze. He shakes his head. “My mom is right about you. You’re like this immature little kid with a puppet show and no idea of how the world works, and you seriously need togrow up.” His voice drips with the same contempt I hear all too often from Aunt Alice.
The same contempt I would hear from my mom, usually aimed at my dad, but sometimes at me. Because we’re so alike, and just too much for her.Too much for everyone.
Too much and yet somehow also not enough.
I stand there, all at once too cold and too flushed, my mouth working silently.
Just grow up, Su-Lin. It echoes and echoes.
I’m not sure if I would have figured out what to say, butTate looks over my shoulder and groans, just as I hear Emily’s voice coming up from behind me.
“Really,Tate?” she says icily. “You’re tellingherto grow up?”
I look behind me, and there’s Emily, her face scrubbed clean of all that running mascara, her arms folded. She’s glaring in a downright badass way, despite still wearing a nightie. Standing next to her is Jason, also glaring.
For this moment, at least, neither of them are glaring at me.
Tate rolls his eyes but doesn’t say anything.
Emily keeps on going, picking him apart word by word. “Shedoesn’t know the way the world works? Your cousin made enough money from her ‘puppet show’ to buy and sell your sorry ass a hundred times over. Because she’s talented and smart and people love her.Andshe manages to be a good person, and not a selfish, lying prick. So I fail to see how she’s the one in your family who should do any changing.”
Tears swim in my eyes, and I want to hug her. Emily may be mad at me, and I may have hurt her, but she’s still my friend.
Maybe this means I haven’t ruined absolutely everything good in my life—though if I’ve lost Brendan, I can’t help but feel that I have.
Tate’s eyes cut back and forth between Emily and Jason, totally ignoring Emily’s defensive rant. “What, so you’re with him already? I knew there was something going on there. Good job holding on to that moral high ground.”
“Don’t even try to play the victim here,” Emily seethes, butTate brushes her off with a dismissive wave of his hand, then looks directly at Jason.Tate’s lip curls into a sneer.
“She’s all yours, bro. Hope you like your piece of ass with a side of overbearing bitch, because that’s what you’re getting.”
