“Then fucking say that.”
“I did. I said I want to be blown by a whale.”
I shake my head. “Choose different words, mate.”
“I said it the way I wanted to say it. You’re the pervert, not me.”
“Whatever you say,” I reply as I make a doodle of Rupert getting blown in the face by a whale’s blowhole.
“But we should go whale watching,” he continues. “These fucks are huge, and they deserve our attention. I mean look at this, they’re waving to the tourists with their flappers.”
I glance at the picture he’s trying to show me. “They’re not called flappers.”
“Then what are they called, genius?”
“Fins.”
“Same thing.”
“Not even close.” My phone buzzes with a text message next to me, and I nearly fall off the couch reaching for my phone.
I’ve been waiting all day for Renley to text me back after I asked her how I could get in more visitations today, but she has yet to respond.
Excited, I swipe at my screen to read the text, but I’m massively disappointed when I see that it’s actually a text from my father.
“Is it from her?” Rupert asks.
I shake my head. “No, it’s from the Lord Dickhead.”
Rupert cringes. “What the hell does he want?”
“Who knows.”
I open the text and read it to myself.
Lord Dickhead:Had an interesting conversation with Neil today. Told me that his daughter is quite available and looking to marry soon. I mentioned that you were in the same boat.
“That motherfucker,” I say out loud.
“What? What did he say?” Rupert slides in next to me and reads the text. “Oh shit, he’s applying the pressure.”
“What do you mean?”
“Perfect scare tactic. He’s trying to scare you so that you feel pressured to push harder and therefore possibly mess up the work you’ve already put into securing Renley’s hand.”
“You think so?”
“Absolutely. Classic bad father plot. He’s coming in to shake you up a bit so that you do something desperate.” Rupert shakes his head. “Not my man though, you’re better than that and you see right through him. Do not fall for it.”
“Do you really think he talked to Neil?”
“You know”—Rupert picks his pamphlet back up—“I wouldn’t put it past him. Seems like something he’d do. Shoot you a text to scare you.”
“Yeah, you’re right, that does sound like something he’d do, especially if he wants to be right in this scenario. Do you believe I should text him back?”
“You must. You don’t have an option. He’s trying to win the upper hand here and we can’t allow that.”
“WhatshouldI text him back?”
