“It was a fashion choice,” he says and then rolls to the side, propping his head up with his hand. “So what did the letter say?”
“She’s suggested new rules.” I hand him the letter and I watch his eyes fly across the paper until he sets it down and blows out a long whistle. “That is…not what you probably wanted. Just friends? How did you go from kissing to just friends? Lamar is not going to be happy about this.”
“I don’t know. I told her what I wanted this morning—that I want her—and this is what she comes back with. What the hell do I do now?”
“Well, is this what you want? I know we’re here because we don’t want Neil’s daughter anywhere near you, but come on, mate, is that why you’re really here? Or is it because you’re running away from a life you don’t want, you’re looking for freedom from the grasp your father has on your life, and you see this as an escape to do just that? You say you want to propose, but would you really?”
I rub my hand over my forehead and blow out a heavy breath. “I don’t know. I believe I’m possibly desperate enough to go through with it. Just stubborn enough to prove my father wrong, just frantic enough to flip my world completely upside down.”
“But with Renley? It’s clear that you care about her.”
I shake my head. “I don’t think I could do that to her, get her involved with the mess that is my life.”
“So then what are you doing?”
I look out the window at the giant oak trees, the leaves bobbing in the light breeze. “Avoiding the inevitable while growing feelings for someone who would never fit into the life that’s carved out for me.”
“And how strong are those feelings?”
Good question.Am I physically attracted to her? Hell yes. Do I admire her tenacity, her drive, her knowledge about so many things, and her sense of honor? Equally yes. Could I imagine having her in my life beyond the summer? If I was to stay here, then yes.But…
Rule Number Eight: The candy shop is the most important thing in Renley’s life right now and she can’t be distracted from pursuing her goal of making it a success. Theo needs to know that the candy shop comes first.
In all my pushing, my kisses, and urging for what I want…have I listened to her desire to stay focused only on her shop and not be distracted?Not really.
I want her, and I can acknowledge thatsheis possibly the first thing that I haven’t been able to simply have. But rule number nine?
Rule Number Nine: Renley has a tough time forming bonds with men given her relationship with past men in her life. She has a hard time trusting them and giving them a chance to have any part in her life. Theo needs to know her reluctance is not against him, but from having to mend the scars left on her heart—not really a rule, just an understanding.
Given that my immediate response to that is “Who the fuck hurt her?” even though I have a good guess, it’s pretty clear that she means more to me than a quick summer fling.
But does that mean there’s a future for us?
“Despite what I feel for Renley, what I want is different from what I’m required to do.”
“But are you?” Rupert asks.
“What?”
“Come on, man, is it taking over your father’s role that really scares you? Or is it the fact that you have no idea what you would do with your life if you didn’t?”
Fuck.
He’s reading me like a goddamn book right now. And sure it’s fun with Rupert, we fuck around a lot and get into trouble, but this right here, this is why he’s my best friend, because he can see through the bullshit and laughter to my very core.
He’s right.
From a very young age, I was taught about duty and obligation.
I was told what my life would be, what was required from me.
And I accepted my fate. I sat back, put forth very little effort, and fucked around to the point that I’m sitting on a blank résumé and a lack of accomplishments.
“What the fuck am I supposed to do?” I ask. “I’m fucking thirty years old with no real-life experience besides parading around different social engagements. Sure, I went to university, but I learned nothing that I could apply to real life. I’ve been molded to take over my father’s title one day and that’s it. So if I were to turn away from that life, cut it out, that means I’d have to try to fend for myself, and I don’t know what that’s like. I don’t know where I’d go or what I’d do.”
“So you would rather live a numb life than a life in fear?” Rupert asks.
“Where the hell is this coming from?”
