“Easy,” I say, which is a big fat lie. My body thrums with my stupid need for this man.
Why?
Why am I like this?
Why does he make me want to throw all caution to the wind, forget about the worst-case scenario, and just live in the moment?
I’ve never been that person.
I’ve always been cautious and calculated.
I’ve made sure to protect myself, because that’s what I needed to do to survive in this town.
But with him, it’s like all of that fades away, and my mind and body allow him to take over.
He cups my face, his thumb caressing my cheek.
“Easy? You think you can keep yourself from kissing me?”
“Mm-hmm,” I say, even though I know it’s seconds before I give in.
“Okay.” His mouth glides across mine again before he says, “You’re so beautiful, Renley. Not sure how many people have told you. I’m hoping not a lot because I’m a jealous man. I want to be the one who tells you just how beautiful you are because that feels sacred, like something that should be shared just between us. I want to be the guy who makes your heart thump, who gets to whisper things into your ear. Things like…”—he brings his mouth to my ear as his hand falls to my waist, pinning me against the tree—“things like if Tilly didn’t interrupt us, my mouth would have sucked and licked every last inch of your trembling body. I was fucking hungry last night, and all I wanted was to taste you.”
Goosebumps spread over my skin, down my legs, and up my arms, coating me in a delicious feeling of being wanted…needed.
Keeping his lips right next to my ear, he continues, “And it would have been hard to hold back, to maintain any sense of control, because you’re all I think about, Renley. I would have begged you to end this misery and let me finally have a taste, let me spread your legs and own you.”
Oh my God.
No one has ever talked to me like this before.
No one.
And now that it’s happening, I don’t know what to do with myself.
“But you don’t want that, right?” He kisses my cheek, my jaw, and then moves over to the other ear. “You don’t want me sliding my hand up your shirt, touching you, caressing you. You don’t want my lips, my tongue, my infatuation. You don’t want my cock, despite how I would have killed to bury myself deep inside of you.”
“Jesus,” I whisper, my hands falling behind me, to keep them from touching him.
He runs his nose over my cheek and then brings his lips right in front of mine.
“Tell me right now that you don’t want me, Renley, but you have to look me in the eyes. Tell me you don’t want any of that.”
Come on, you can do this.
Easy.
Just a little lie. Wouldn’t be the first time.
Gathering as much courage as I can muster, I look him in the eyes and I open my mouth to say that I don’t want any of the things he’s offering, but nothing comes out.
It’s easy, Renley, just say, “I don’t want any of that.”
But every time I attempt to say something, it feels like the words get stuck in my throat.
“That’s okay, Gossy, it’s hard to lie, especially when you have to look someone in the eyes.” He connects his forehead with mine, not letting me break contact. “I want you. I want this. And I want you to give me a chance.”
Then he pushes away from the tree and holds out his hand.
