Theo is sitting in the kayak with a clipboard in hand and a pen.
Aunt Kitty is performing her dressage routine, decked out in her tracksuit jacket, a pair of magenta bike shorts, and matching leg warmers and sweatband.
Dear God in heaven.
Don’t they know it’s really early?
And that they’re in public?
What on earth are they doing?
Scratch that, I know what they’re doing. The question is, why are they doing it now?
Sucking it up, I walk toward the house just as Aunt Kitty starts to canter diagonally, shaking her head like she’s Alan fromThe Hangover. I don’t think I have the energy for this.
“Beautiful, Kitty, absolutely stunning. But point your toes a little more,” Rupert says.
Aunt Kitty responds and points her toes.
“Just like that. Perfect.” He takes his phone out and starts recording her. “Keep going, feel the horse. Be the horse.”
“I’m the horse,” Aunt Kitty says and then leans her head back and lets out a bellow of a sound. “Neigggggghhhhhhh.”
Oh weird, I think this is the wrong address. I don’t think this is where I live actually. I must have taken a wrong turn somewhere.
“Morning,” Theo says, his eyes on me as he leans back in the stupid blue kayak. “I see that you already went on your walk.”
Seeing that I don’t have a way out of this, I say, “Yes, needed to get an early start to the day.”
“I see that.” He stands up and holds an envelope close to him as he walks up to me. The circus behind him continues on as he lowers his voice and says, “This is for you.”
I stare at the envelope that he’s holding out to me.
“Is that what I think it is?”
“You’re going to have to see for yourself,” he says as I take it. “See you around, Renley.” Then he moves back toward his house, walks up the porch stairs, and disappears inside.
Why do I feel like not inviting him on the walk this morning is going to come back to bite me in the ass?
With envelope in hand, I walk past Rupert and Aunt Kitty, into the house, and then straight up to my room. I bypass the bathroom for a shower but rather take a seat on my floor and open the envelope, pulling out a letter from Theo.
Dear Gossy,
Skipped out on our walk again, huh? Guess what? I knew you were going to, that’s why I’m writing this tonight.
You’re probably freaking out, attempting to avoid me because of the kiss. I get it, I’d want to avoid me as well. It’s not very often someone blows your sandals right off with just their lips. And yes, I know you dropped them, but when I’m an eighty-year-old man, talking to what he thinks is his pet raccoon, I’ll be saying that my kiss was so great, so intense, that it blew your sandals clean off your feet.
And because of that, I thought I’d revise the rules for us.
*Ahem*
Rule Number One: Theo is not allowed to buy Renley and Kitty’s affection.
(We can keep this. I’m really not into the whole buying someone’s affection for me thing. I’d like to earn it.)
Could not agree more. Buying affection is off the table.
[Still very much on board with rule number one, although, I’m now thinking that possible kisses could be a transaction for affection. You’re not allowed to make “no kissing” a rule because of this. You have the final say whether I’m allowed to kiss you or not, because you know, your body, your choice, but I WILL NOT allow it to be a rule.]
