“Well, that’s all kinds of fucked up.”
“Tell me about it.” She sighs as she stares out at the ocean.
We’re silent for a moment, and as her story sits on my chest and I ruminate, it makes me angrier.
The fucking nerve, to just believe that someone is going to fail, that’s…fuck…that’s something I’m so goddamn familiar with.
“What are you thinking over there?” she asks. “You look angry.”
“Just thinking how I understand the feeling of people not believing in you. I know it all too well.” I chew on the inside of my cheek, hating that she’s going through the same thing. “It’s on a different scale, but I still know the feeling.”
“I don’t doubt you,” she says. “Just because our lives are different and we come from different backgrounds doesn’t mean that we can’t experience the same feelings of being let down and hurt.”
Christ, that might be the first time someone has ever said that to me. That someone has taken my feelings into consideration and not brushed them aside. And I know she jokes around with me a lot, and there might be some tension there because of how we met, but I can also see her kind heart, her softer side, and it’s making…fuck, it’s making me see her in a completely different light. Like I want to get to know her more, and not because I’m trying to prove my father wrong, but because I’m starting to care about her.
Hell, I think I’m starting to grow feelings. Andthathas never happened before because I’ve never allowed myself to be this open…this vulnerable. And I wonder if Renley feels the same.
Chapter Twenty-Four
RENLEY
“Want to go for a walk on the beach with me?” Theo asks as he stands and holds his palm out to me.
I shouldn’t.
I should just thank him for the food and go back home.
And yet, I find myself slipping my hand in his and standing as well.
This is a bad idea. I know it is.
I need to be focused on Rudder’s, on my odd jobs throughout town, on making sure that I don’t fall into the trap of failure expected of me.
But maybe, just for tonight, I can let myself breathe, take a break, and just live without worry for a moment.
He leads us past the sand gate and out to the beach, each of us holding our shoes in our free hand.
There are other people out walking on the beach as well, but it’s not many since the sun has set and the moon is the only thing lighting our way.
“Where do you live in proximity to the beach?” I ask.
“Not this close,” he answers. “I’m more central England. Takes a couple of hours to drive to the coast.”
“So you haven’t spent much time there then.”
“Not on the English coasts. I’ve visited many other beaches, but that was all on holiday. This…this is something I could get addicted to. I’ve always loved the sound of the crashing waves against the shore, and I feel it relieves the tension inside of me.”
“Are you saying that if I actually accepted your ridiculous proposal, you’d move here and live with me?”
“In a heartbeat,” he says, his delicious cologne wafting in my direction from a light breeze.
“You would give up the lordship?”
“Easily. I don’t want anything to do with that. Instead, I’d be the stay-at-home father, raising five kids and bringing them to the sweets store where they can visit their mummy.”
“First, five kids would never happen. Second, that’s a surefire way to scare away a not-fiancée—by telling her the future you see together.”
“I see nothing wrong with that. It’s all about the long game, Gossy. Got to lay it out there so you know what to expect and you can prepare for it. But I will say, there’s one thing I won’t give up.”
