“But…” She held her ground, disentangling herself from his hold so she could face him fully. “I remain steadfast in my previous claims. We do not speak unless absolutely necessary. I made my feelings for you quite clear, and that is my burden to bear. Yet as I said last night, there can be nothing more between us. I cannot allow myself to fall under your spell, to drown inyour world of fanciful promises, when your longing for me is not aligned with the depth of my own.”
Kjeld reached for her, and she sidestepped his advance.
“That includes no touching, unless absolutely necessary.” She stepped back firmly. Decidedly. “This is my boundary, General. You are determined to quit me of your mind, and I am determined to quit you of my heart. We are not the same.”
“Caelian, please,” he pleaded, his gaze searching. But he would not find what he wanted, what he desired, in her eyes. Not anymore. “You misunderstand me.”
“On the contrary, I comprehend you quite well.” She collected her satchel off the floor. “Do not touch me. Do not speak to me. Until you can find it in your heart to well and truly forgive me.”
Though the ache in Caelian’s heart was deep and cavernous, she clung to her truth.
For she could not give her heart to any male who did not offer his in return.
CHAPTER TWENTY
There was no fault in Caelian’s logic.
And Kjeld could not blame her, not this time.
Besides, he had no right to her. Not to her attention or her affection. She owed him nothing. He’d not made any declarations of love. If anything, he’d been far too vocal about his frustrations. And he certainly should have remained silent instead of admitting his desires. Because she was right. Caelian’s feelings were born out of love, and his seemed forged from primal lust. She was not his wife, and it was unjust of him to toy with her emotions.
And yet…
The loss of her was profound. Intentional.
He felt it keenly.
Even though she stood an arm’s length away from him in the courtyard, the distance between them was a wide, gaping chasm. A void of eternal emptiness. Hollow and desolate. Despite being so attuned to her heartbeat, to her breathing, it was as though she was constructing a barrier around herself. An impenetrable fortress of strength and determination that he may never breach.
Midmorning mist drifted across the damp patches of grass and dirt, swirling around Caelian’s ankles as a light drizzle emptied from the overcast heavens. She was pristine in the gloom, elegance among the muck. And Kjeld was reminded of a time when he trained her twin sister, Creslyn, how to fight with a sword in an incredibly similar situation. But while Creslyn had been eager to stay and learn, Caelian was determined to leave and forget.
She was the epitome of a lady, but he tracked every one of her irritations.
A pinch of her brows each time an errant strand of hair, pulled loose from her plait by the stiff breeze, plastered against the side of her neck from the rain. The way she constantly tugged at her billowing sleeves, as though she couldn’t stand to have the fabric touch her skin. The slight shift in her weight from one foot to the other each time the skirt she wore tangled around her legs.
Caelian was uncomfortable. Antsy. Always fiddling or fidgeting with the snaps on her corset to keep from wringing her hands together in a show of unease.
“Must you leave so soon?” Queen Viktoria reached out and clasped Caelian’s hands, her eerie golden eyes flicking between Caelian and Kjeld. “You’ve only just arrived.”
Caelian offered a small, forced smile. “It seems futile to prolong our stay, Your Majesty. For I believe if you meant Aeramere any sort of malice, you would have shown your hand some time ago.”
The queen’s painted ruby lips curved easily, an admirable gleam sparking in the gold of her gaze. “I have no doubt your brother underestimates your abilities, Lady Caelian. It’s true that I mean you and yours no harm, though I imagine Lord Starstorm may call upon me for a favor in time. One I will be willing to grant, so long as he offers repayment whenever the need arises.”
Caelian dipped her head in acknowledgment. “Ariesian is most honorable, and his loyalty to his family and his word is without fault.”
“Though I am curious…” Queen Viktoria looked toward Odryss, where the mighty dragon was seated with his wings tucked, awaiting Kjeld’s orders. “Why are you traveling with dragon eggs?”
The smooth planes of Caelian’s face turned stony, her mouth thinning into a hard line. “Aeramere is not the wonder it seems. There is foul magic afoot, and the source has not yet been determined, though there are some who think our queen is the one behind it.”
“Your queen?” This from Elder Lothaire, who, to Kjeld’s immense frustration, seemingly appeared out of thin air. The vampire positioned himself directly beside Caelian. “What reason would a queen have to wreak havoc upon her own kingdom?”
“What reason indeed?” Kjeld muttered, shoving his hands into the pockets of his pants. Caelian, the queen, and Lothaire all turned his direction. “The land is slowly turning against the fae of Aeramere, and Queen Elowyn is doing nothing to stop it. We’re moving the dragon eggs far from the poisoned reach so they can hatch in safety.”
“Forgive me, I believe I misheard.” Queen Viktoria’s brows pulled into a hard line of concern and her gold eyes slid to Lothaire, held, then focused on Kjeld again. “Did you sayElowyn? As in, Elowyn Willowblade?”
“The very one.” Caelian tilted her head to one side. “You know her?”
Queen Viktoria’s painted red lips pursed, and she shared one more questionable look with Lothaire. “I know of her existence and not much else. That being said, it is incredibly wise of you to be making the trip to Wenfyre.”
