“That doesn’t make sense. Aren’t the symptoms the same for everyone?”
“This isn’t a cookie cutter disease. Every person has different triggers, severity levels, cycles—yada yada. The point is, don’t base your decisions and fears off of a checklist of symptoms or other people’s horror stories. Base them off ofTheo. His actions, his effort, his love for you. That should be the deciding factor.”
“I don’t know,” I sighed, exhaustion creeping up on me fast.
“If you want my advice?—”
“It’s cute you say that like I have a choice,” I smirked weakly.
“You don’t, so shut up and listen,” Micah said teasingly. “If you really want to make it work with Theo, do your own research. Learn about his condition, explore ways to help him cope, try to understand him better so you can work together to help him fight this.”
“That’s actually solid advice...”
“You came to the right genius. I’ll send you my bill.”
I huffed a laugh and knocked him in the arm. Micah grabbed my hand gently, dragging my eyes back to him.
“Don’t let him go again, Dawson. You and Theo have a chance at something most people would kill for. You just have to take a leap of faith. That’s all any of us can do.”
“Alright, I hope you guys are done because the season finale ofHouse of the Dragonis tonight and I’m impatient as fuck forit.” Bash proclaimed, waltzing out of his room. I thanked them both and made my excuses to leave.
Once I was home, I crashed on my bed and stared aimlessly at the ceiling. My fears hadn’t magically disappeared, but they no longer felt insurmountable. Something had changed in me, shifted into place.
As Micah had said, there were always risks when it came to trusting someone with your heart. There were no guarantees in life. Theo’s demons could be terrifying and unpredictable, yes, but he deserved someone who would stand by him, who would fight them at his side. Someone unafraid. Unflinching. Unbreakable.
What was I willing to risk to have him be mine again? What was Theo worth to me?
As sleep took me, Theo’s bright smile filled my head, giving me the only answer I needed.
Everything.
Chapter 21
Dawson
My feet tore up the ground as I sprinted down the field, blood pumping as I crossed into the end zone. I dropped the ball and leaned on my knees, breathing heavily from the exertion of the play and the heat of the afternoon sun.
Coach Walker clapped his hands, voice booming from the sidelines. “Excellent! That’s how you do it! Great work, gentlemen. Hit the showers and get out of here. Have a good first day of classes tomorrow, but do not be late to practice. Be on the field at six sharp, ready to go.”
I jogged over to the benches for my water bottle, chugging half of it in one go. A heavy hand clapped me on the shoulder, nearly knocking me over.
“Whoo! That was a fucking good scrimmage, yeah?” DeJuan, one of our wide receivers, beamed at me. “Fuck, if we keep playing like that, we’re going all the way this year, baby!”
“You fucking know it,” I laughed, his exuberance contagious. He congratulated me again as he made his way indoors, and I couldn’t help but feel like a fraud. The game meant everything to some of these guys, and here I was, ready and willing to throw inthe towel. Yeah, the championship would be awesome, but part of me didn’t even give a shit and would quit right now if I could.
The team would probably be pissed if they knew. Who wanted to follow a captain that wouldn’t even care if the ship went down? I ambled towards the locker room, lost in thought, when a loud voice pierced through my distracted haze.
“Looking good, Mercury!”
I whipped around and saw Theo leaning against the outer wall of the practice facility, a playful smirk aimed my way. My heart sped up at the sight of him with the sleeves rolled up on his t-shirt and faded jeans hugging his thighs. He tossed back his floppy blond locks and the world tilted slightly under my feet.
“What are you doing here?” I asked breathlessly, my feet carrying me over to him instinctively.
He shrugged, lips sliding into an easy grin. “I know we planned to meet up tomorrow after classes, but I got in early and thought I’d catch you after practice, see if you wanted to grab lunch.”
I slammed into him, wrapping myself around him tightly. He tensed in surprise before his arms banded around my waist, squeezing me to him. I buried my nose in his neck and inhaled his cedar and citrus scent that did dangerous things to my cock.
“Well damn, what did I do to deserve this?” Theo chuckled softly.
