“Because it helps him. I figured I owed Dawson a solid,” Micah shrugged. “And I’m hoping I’m not wrong, but I don’t think you intended to hurt him. My advice is to start by fixing what you broke. No bullshit apologies, no excuses. If you screwed up, find a way to make amends. I hear groveling can do wonders.”
He fluttered his eyes at me obnoxiously, my lips tugging up involuntarily. I wasn’t sure how to even begin fixing things with Dawson. I was still terrified for him to know the whole truth, but one thing was damn clear to me.
I’d never be whole again without Dawson. He was my other half. He had loved me on my worst days and embraced every flaw and scar I had. No one but Dawson ever made me feel like I truly mattered.
And all I’d done since returning was hide from him like a coward and when that didn’t work, I pushed him away. He deserved better than me. I was so far beneath him, Hades himself couldn’t find me.
But I needed him. God, I needed Dawson like a vital organ. I was fucking lucky that I even got a second chance at his friendship, but I wanted more. I needed more. I didn’t want Corvin or any other man.
Only him. It was always him.
“Thanks, Micah. Not only for this, but for looking out for him too.”
“Eh, that’s a member’s perk for our group. It also goes for you too now,” he told me with a pointed look. “I get you don’t know me, but if you ever need to talk or get some more unsolicited, but well-meaning advice, I’m around.”
I scanned his face for any sign that he was messing with me, but all I saw was sincerity. It was a bold move to make with someone he didn’t know from Adam, but part of me longed to take him up on it, to unload all the shit I carried and have someone possibly understand. But I’d done that before and ended up losing everyone I thought was on my side.
“I appreciate that,” I thanked him, even knowing I’d never use the invitation.
“Absolutely,” he smiled warmly. “Also I think I saw Dawson waiting for his turn on the jetski if you wanted to maybe go find him. You know, for some reason or whatever.”
I rolled my eyes at his super subtle hint, but set off down the steps to do just that. My gaze zeroed in on his windswept brown hair, his eyes crinkled in laughter at something Nate was saying. He wore a UT branded t-shirt that stretched across his chest and hugged his biceps just right. He was so beautiful my lungs seized looking at him. My pulse beat a dangerous tempo as I got closer,drawn to him, but I froze at the not-so-quiet whispers behind me.
“Holy shit, Dawson Hayes issogorgeous. I’m lowkey obsessed with him, but there’s no way he’s single.”
“I’ve never heard that he has a girlfriend. He’s supposedly phenomenal in bed though. My friend Gillian told me she met him at a party, like, a year ago and he rocked her world. I mean, he had to be single, right? He doesn’t strike me as a cheater.”
“No way! I’ve talked to him once, you know? He’s, like, super nice, but I bet he’s a beast in the sheets. He’s like the kind of guy who would carry your bags for you, but then fuck you so good he’d throw your back out.”
“Mmm, I’d pay good money for that ride. I’ve got an awesome chiropractor, so I can take it.”
The shrill female laughter grated on my nerves like a dentist’s drill. My jaw popped under the strain of holding back a scathing retort at their lewd comments. I hated them for talking about Dawson that way.MyDawson. They didn’t fucking know him.
My stomach roiled at the thought of him fucking someone else. It was hypocritical as fuck, but it didn’t stem the nausea one bit.
One of the girls sashayed over to Dawson, interrupting his conversation with a hand on his elbow. He gave her a warm smile as she flashed a flirtatious grin and looked up at him through heavily lined eyes. Who the fuck wore makeup out on the lake anyway?
She laughed prettily at something he said, slapping him lightly on the arm before rubbing that same spot. I could practically feel my skin turning green as my face heated with jealousy.Ugh, could she be more fucking obvious? Gross.
She then gestured to one of the jet skis moored to the boat and Dawson helped her into a lifejacket, slipping one on afterher. Dark thoughts overwhelmed me watching them, lacing my veins with fury, fear and helplessness.
“You really gonna race a girl, Daws? How ungentlemanly of you,” I heard myself saying. I hadn’t realized I’d walked over until I was standing next to them, and I hoped the slur in my voice wasn’t noticeable. I gave him a grin to hide the emotion broiling under the surface and his mouth pinched in annoyance.
“Actually, Heather asked me to take her out for a ride since she didn’t feel comfortable by herself,” he corrected me. One look at the chick confirmed she knew exactly what she was doing. Her face lit up as Dawson settled on the watercraft and held a hand out to help her down.
The second their skin made contact, panic zapped me like a cattle prod. Disturbing images of them tangled together in bed struck me when her chest met his back, her arms wrapping around his waist tightly. An icy sensation blanketed me when I saw her hands splay across his abdomen and I wanted to vomit.
Please stay…don’t leave me here. Don’t ignore me…
I heard the jetski take off and in the next second, I was climbing onto the other one after haphazardly throwing on a lifejacket, not bothering to buckle it. Voices called out to me from the boat as I shot off, but they were quickly drowned out by the roar of the engine.
Heather’s blonde hair waved behind her as Dawson drove at a leisurely pace, and her laughter carried as I caught up to them. Dawson threw a look over his shoulder, his brows crashing together in a double-take upon seeing me.
“What the hell are you doing?” he shouted over the whine of engines and crashing water.
“What’s the matter, Mercury? Afraid you’ll lose?” I taunted loudly, gunning my jetski.
The spray of the lake hit my face and in that split second, I felt free. Free of the voices, the gloom, the constant buzz undermy skin. My vision wavered at the edges and my hand slipped on the throttle a bit, but I shook it off and kept pushing. Dawson drifted into my periphery and I caught the shake of his head and pursed lips before he sped off, the chick shrieking in laughter and tightening her grip on him. My heart squeezed painfully and a lump bobbed in my throat.
