Don’t leave—see me—stay with me—give me your eyes—give me you…
The voice screamed in my head, desperation clawing at me for his attention. Every inch of space he put between us was a stab between my ribs. All I saw was him running away from me, leaving me behind. I squeezed the throttle in a vice and the jetski lurched forward violently. A wave of dizziness washed over me and I could just make out Dawson’s jetski ahead of me as I raced by them.
The craft pitched sharply to the left and I was suddenly airborne, flipping ass over head before crashing into the water. A pain shot through my shoulder as the lifejacket ripped off me as I broke the surface. White noise filled my ears while water filled my lungs.
I was so disoriented, I didn’t know where the surface was. I wasn’t sure if I was immobile or flailing. The only thing that registered to me was quiet.
Nothing but quiet and darkness.
It was peaceful.
I wanted to sink into it.
And never come up.
A crushing force anchored under my arms and around my chest, yanking me upwards and a small voice told me to fight it. To stay in the quiet.
Cool air rushed over my head as we cleared the surface and I instinctively dragged in oxygen to my depleted lungs. Hoarsecoughs wracked me as water was forced from my body and my head pounded from the effort.
“It’s okay, I’ve got you. Breathe, Theo, you’re okay,” Dawson gasped out. I choked out his name, the fear that was curiously absent before slamming into me all at once. That I had even been tempted to let go horrified me because in the quiet, there was no Dawson. He was music and song, and that didn’t exist in the cold silence.
“Shh, it’s okay, you’re safe. Can you help me kick? There’s a stretch of shore close by.”
His voice was strained and rough from the struggle. I didn’t know how far away he was when I went down or how deep I’d sunk before he grabbed me. He draped my arm around his shoulder and started swimming us toward the shoreline. His lifejacket was gone and even the thought that I could have endangered him had dread coursing through my system.
I tried my best to kick and paddle us closer, but my limbs were heavy and fatigue was setting in fast. It seemed an eternity before my feet hit the silt at the bottom and we were able to stagger out onto the muddy bank. Dawson kept a tight hold of me until we were far enough away from the water before releasing me, and I wanted to cry at the loss of his touch.
I fell to my back gracelessly, that old dizziness swirling as I stared up at the sky and tried to catch my breath. Dawson dropped to his knees beside me, his warm hands cupping my face and forcing me to look at his worried blue eyes.
“Christ, are you okay? Does anything hurt? Can you breathe alright?” I hated the fear that shook his voice, knowing I put it there. But I couldn’t help the sense of victory that swept through me at having every ounce of his attention on me. Dawson was here with me…where he belonged.
“Heh…I win…got you…” I panted through a weak smile. Dawson’s face scrunched in confusion as he peered down at me.
“What do you mean ‘win’? What are you talking about?”
My eyes slid shut as I tried to will my thoughts back into order. “Y-your…eyes. On m-me…not her…I got you back.”
Dawson scoffed loudly and my head lolled towards him. He stood and angrily brushed off his legs. I slowly sat up and willed my stomach to settle. Whether it was the beers on the boat, the crash, or the nerves of making Dawson angry, my gut gurgled uncomfortably. He finally spun toward me, his hands fisted at his sides and his chest heaving.
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” he growled at me. “You climbed on that freaking thing after God knows how many drinks and took off like a bat out of hell because you werejealous? Seriously?”
I wasn’t entirely sure it wasn’t a rhetorical question, so I stayed silent. I couldn’t exactly defend myself. That was what I’d done after all.
Another fuck up for the books. If he only knew this was all I was destined for, he never would have pulled me out of the water.
“Theo, what the hell were you thinking?” he snapped, but there was no hiding the tremor in his voice. “You scared the ever-loving shit out of me back there! Do you have any idea what that was like? Seeing you go under like that and not come back up? Goddamnit, I just got you back!”
His face twisted in a grimace as his voice cracked. It was clear he hadn’t intended for that last part to slip out, but that single sentence made my heart soar.
“I’m sorry I scared you…” I said shakily.
“Oh! You’re sorry. I guess we’re all good then,” he sneered.
“I didn’t mean?—”
“You had no reason to be jealous. Nor did you have a right to be. She was harmless. It’s not like I screwed her on your bed and then got her number afterwards,” he finished bitterly.
His pointed reply spiked my temper. I didn’t need the reminder of my massive screw up. I already hated myself enough for driving that wedge between us that I could never take back.
