“He asked me out and I turned him down,” Theo replied, still avoiding my eyes. “But I gave him my number and said we could grab coffee sometime.”
Somehow that hurt worse than I expected. Not that them hooking up didn’t rip me apart, but Theo agreeing to grab coffee with Corvin, leaving that door open for more between them sent shocks of pain down my limbs.
“Oh. Okay,” I responded lamely. What else could I even say?
“That doesn’t change things for you, does it?” he asked worriedly.
“No, it doesn’t. I mean, you’re gonna have other…friends and I’ve gotta be cool with that. I’m still in this.”
And I was. Even if I was seething at the thought of Theo beingfriendlywith Corvin or anyone else.
“Good,” he smiled weakly. “Me too.”
I returned his smile as best I could. Emotionally, I was wrung out. All the anguish and struggle since the first day we ran into each other again caught up to me and I was close to crashing. I’d probably sleep for days if allowed to.
“I should get back. I promised Dad I’d go on a run with him before dinner.”
We both stood and I went to grab my guitar from where I left it on the grass. I turned back toward the golf cart, but stopped when Theo bent over to grab something. Theo smiled to himself as he examined my guitar pick, caressing it gently. I hadn’t realized I’d dropped it earlier when I’d kissed him.
“You kept it.”
Maybe it shouldn’t have, but it hurt a bit that he sounded surprised I had. I let out a hum of acknowledgment, crossing over to him when he held it out. My fingers brushed over his as I took it, that quick touch enough to ignite my blood and make my pulse stutter.
We stood there for seconds, minutes, who fucking knew? I wondered if he was as reluctant to leave as I was.
“So, I’ll text you later?” It came out as a question rather than a statement, maybe to hear him tell me that’s what he wanted or even that he still had my number.
“I’d really like that,” he admitted softly, giving me a tiny version of his lopsided grin that stopped my heart every damn time. This one was no less powerful.
I laid my guitar on the backseat of the cart and climbed behind the wheel, déjà vu hitting me from the last time we were here. When I left the barn that day I first came home, I was miserable and convinced that Theo and I were doomed forever, but maybe now we could start to rewrite our ending.
“Why did you choose that song?” Theo called out. I lifted my head, catching and holding his gaze intently.
“Because it’s still ours.”
Dawson, Age 15
I wipedmy sweaty palms on my jeans for the umpteenth time. Theo would be here soon and I was trying not to freak out. I couldn’t help it. I was filled with anxiety over what I was about to do.
I grabbed my guitar and tuned it one more time, just in case it had gone flat in the summer heat. Today was the first day of summer vacation and I couldn’t wait any longer to tell him.
“Freebird!”
I rolled my eyes at his shouted request and played the opening lick, just to be a smartass.
“It’s not as funny when you don’t get all cranky about it,” Theo pouted up at me.
“It stopped being funny thirty years ago.”
Theo huffed in fake annoyance before climbing up to sit beside me on the edge of the hayloft. My heart beat faster the closer he got, stealing my breath and my focus in one go. That happened more and more lately when he was around.
He dropped on his butt next to me, tossing me his signature lopsided grin that did weird things to my stomach. I’d been living with that reaction for all of freshman year and if I didn’t do something about it, I was going to snap.
But I couldn’t just tell him. No way. I’d say something stupid and screw everything up and then what the heck would I do? I couldn’t live without Theo. I just couldn’t. I’d sooner stop playing music and that would be the same as bleeding my veins dry.
“You okay, Mercury?”
I glanced over at Theo’s worried tone and I’m pretty sure my heart stopped. Full-on stopped beating for a whole ass second. He was so…beautiful. I’d watched him through every awkward stage of life so far, but somehow at only fifteen years old he was now unfairly pretty. Braces gone, clear skin, perfectly styled ashy blond hair, and eyes so blue they were almost translucent.
