“For sure! Life’s anal oral skills are bound to improve this year and then you’ll reap the benefits!”
A chorus of groans and laughs came from the group as Nate continued to argue his point, the bizarre debate growing in volume and enthusiasm from everyone except me and Kenji.
“Hey Nate, you know who’d bedelightedto give you a personal lesson on rimming?”
Nate glared at Micah’s mischievous face. “Do not go there, Russo. I’m not letting you ruin my appetite if you are going to be talking abouthim.”
“Oooh, yeah,” Cal grinned. “I forgot you and my boy Mateo have this weird thing between you. Want me to text him that you miss him?”
“Hell no! This is a text-free zone! In fact, all of you are in violation of Breakfast Code 17.4 and I’m going to have to confiscate all your devices. Hand them over.”
“But then how will I know what he texted back?” Cal waved his phone tauntingly. “Hey hey! I see text bubbles!”
“NO! Pop those damn bubbles, Hawkins!” Nate jumped up and launched across the room towards Cal, who took off with his phone in hand out the back door. Even I couldn’t help choking out a laugh with the others as we watched through the windows as Nate chased Cal in zig zags across the lawn with Stella the goat now in hot pursuit. I wasn’t sure how she got out of her enclosure again, but seeing their horrified faces and hearing their distant shrieks as she charged them made it worth it.
“Mmm, I can already smell the fresh drama coming,” Fin announced brightly. “Welcome to the 75th annual Hunger Games, everyone.”
I finished my food while my friends talked and enjoyed the morning once the guys came back inside, panting and sweaty. I smiled to myself as I thought how lucky I was to have these people in my life now, weird as they were. When my gaze driftedout the window to the Bishop’s house, my smile faded. My friends had managed to distract me for a small time, but even that hadn’t been enough to bury the memories of last night.
I excused myself from the table to go shower, telling them all to hang out and make themselves at home. Truthfully, I just needed some space to decompress after the last twenty-four hours. I made it to my room, locking the door behind me to avoid any more good-intentioned, but unwanted intruders.
Coming home hadn’t exactly been the peaceful getaway that I’d been hoping for. My peace of mind had been stolen the first day I arrived and it had only gotten worse with every encounter with Theo. I promised my parents I’d be here when they got back from their short holiday trip, but the second they were home, I was heading back to campus. I needed to get back to my life the way it was before Theo stormed back into it. It may not have been everything I wanted it to be, but it was perfectly fine.
I whipped off my shirt and headed for the bathroom, but movement out the window caught my eye. Across the way, I noticed a sleek red sedan pulling up the Bishop’s driveway. I watched a man climb out and though I couldn’t quite see his face, his build was faintly recognizable. He trudged up to the porch and knocked, throwing a sweeping glance over his shoulder and I saw it was Corvin.
I hated the way my chest clenched and my stomach churned as I saw the door open. Corvin waltzed inside after a few seconds, not even allowing me a glimpse of Theo before it shut again.
I didn’t want to think of why he was there at ten in the morning or what they were doing. I only had so much sanity left. It made no sense to me that Theo had seemed so wrecked at our falling out last night, only to turn around and invite Corvin into his home, possibly into his bed, hours later.
The realization ripped the breath from my lungs. Theo might have still wanted me on some level, but I clearly wasn’t the only one he wanted. To know the love of my life no longer saw me as the love of his shredded something inside me. I shuffled into my shower on autopilot, adjusting the temperature until the water scorched my back and gave me a different pain to fixate on.
I couldn’t keep doing this, grappling with betrayal and hurt I had no right to feel. And if I was honest with myself, I was tired of being angry and bitter. I couldn’t hate Theo if I wanted to and the resentment I felt was eating me up inside. This wasn’t who I was.
Maybe the only way forward was to forgive Theo and put everything behind us. Not just the bad, but the good as well. Wipe our slate clean and start over. I didn’t think we could start as friends, but perhaps with time we’d get there. Even as I thought it, I knew it wouldn’t be that simple.
How do you erase a lifetime of memories? Was it even possible to forget every laugh or word of love between us? Could we sweep every smile, kiss, and intimate touch under the rug like they never happened?
I hoped the answer was yes because I couldn’t keep living this half-life. If Theo had any mercy left for me, he’d give me back my heart so I at least stood a chance at piecing it back together.
Chapter 9
Theo
My body ached like a motherfucker and my jaw was sore like I’d been clenching for hours. I tried to open my eyes, but it was as useless as if they’d been glued shut. I always forgot how much cocaine fucked me up the next day.
Wait, is it the next day or later? Where the hell am I?
“We’re at your place. You’ve been crashed out for almost ten hours now.”
My lids shot open at the deep rumble and I instantly regretted it when the UV rays burned like a bitch. I guess I’d voiced my thoughts out loud, but who even answered me?
I swiveled my head around and saw Corvin lounging back in the recliner across from me. His eyes were bloodshot as he rubbed at them and yawned, looking a bit worse for wear. Confusion swamped me as I tried to recall why he was sitting in my living room.
“The fuck happened?” I grated out, wincing. Swallowing a Brillo pad would have hurt less.
“I’m not surprised you don’t remember. You were pretty fucked up.”
A sense of unease settled over me at his tone. My stomach soured as I looked down at my naked chest and legs clad only inboxer briefs. Fuck, did we hook up again? I couldn’t remember. It was like crawling back into my mind after being forced out of it, unaware of what my body had done while I was gone.
