“That’s not?—”
“You took my virginity on that bed!” I thundered, my tears rising hot and fast. “We made love right there, in that very fucking spot, and you?—”
I broke off, my hand clamping over my mouth as a sob forced its way up my throat. I turned my back on him, my abs clenching from the effort it took to keep from screaming in frustration, in misery. My world imploded, the weight of it crushing me as I struggled to hold myself together.
“God, I can’t do this. Just get out,” I begged, rubbing at the headache blooming behind my eyes.
“No, please! I need…fuck,” Theo cried, and I heard him grunt painfully. I looked over and saw him yanking at his hair, pacing like a caged animal. “I need it back. The ring. Please, that’s why I came up here. I can’t—I can’t lose it.”
He continued to look around the room, as if forgetting I was there. A mirthless, wet laugh burst from my lips. That’s what started this shit? That fucking ring? I didn’t know what the hell happened to him to make him do something like this, but I barely recognized the man in front of me.
I’m not the Theo you remember. I’m not him. You need to grieve him and move on because he’s gone. Don’t keep holding on to a ghost.
His warning that night in the alley hit me, and in that instant, I knew what he meant. And I was done. I didn’t have it in me to hold on any longer.
I dug into my pocket and pulled out the ring, his attention snagging on it the second I held it up.I threw it at him and Theo fumbled to catch it as it bounced off his chest. His glassy eyescaught mine and the relief I saw in them was devastating. My knees almost buckled at the loss of what I was giving up.
My last connection to him, to what we once were.
“Take it,” I bit out coldly. “It means nothing to me now. Just like you. You should have stayed gone.”
Theo’s harsh gasp lanced through me, but I shoved down everything I was feeling, burying myself in apathy.
“Don’t say that, Mercury…please, don’t leave me…” he whimpered.
“I’m not leaving you, I’m kicking you out,” I snarled. “Get the hell out of my house and don’t come back here. Ever.”
Theo’s face crumpled, fingers clawing at his hair and his chest. He repeatedly mumbled under his breath, fragments of “sorry” and “no” barely discernible. A brutal wave of helplessness washed over me as I saw him break down. His cries stabbed at my ears and I crossed my arms to stop myself from clutching him to me.
I didn’t want to feel sorry for him. He didn’t deserve a shred of my sympathy or care. I hadn’t wanted to admit it to myself, but from the second Theo walked back into my life, hope had reignited. I had stupidly believed that something good could come from his return, that maybe he’d found his way back to me after all.
But his filthy pleas to Corvin cut away the last remnants of faith I had in him. His moans played on hellish repeat in my head and the memory of his sated face made me want to gouge my eyes out.
After several minutes, Theo’s sobs subsided and his eyes slid up to meet mine. They were hollow and vacant, and a current of guilt ran through me knowing I was the cause.
He didn’t say a word. We stared at each other so long that I lost all sense of time. Part of me didn’t want the moment to endbecause on the other side of it was a life I never wanted. A life without him.
Theo finally broke the contact, nodding absently as he moved to leave. He paused with his hand on the doorknob and threw me a helpless look.
“I know you won’t believe me, but I’m so sorry, Dawson,” he whispered roughly. “You might hate me, but it’ll never be as much as I hate myself.”
He was out the door before I could blink. I sighed heavily, exhaustion blanketing me like a shroud. My nose wrinkled at the sight of my bed, the comforter bearing the imprint left behind by Theo. I ripped it off the mattress, tearing at the sheets until they were a rumpled mess on the floor.
I crawled onto the bed and curled into myself. Warm tears cascaded down my cheeks, soaking the pillow beneath me and my lids slammed shut against the images of Theo and Corvin that assaulted me.
That was the third time I’d seen him with another man, and each time a little piece of me had died. How much more of me was possibly left to break? I hadn’t thought there was anything more he could do to hurt me.
I was so fucking wrong.
Just as I once believed my love for Theo was infinite, so too was the damage he could inflict on my ruined heart. But that was my cross to bear. I’d given Theo my heart a long time ago, and it was his to do with as he pleased.
His to love.
His to protect.
His to destroy.
Chapter 8
