“No, not at all. It’s nothing to worry about, I’ve got it handled. Dawson, call me later and let me know what I need to do first. Catch you guys later.”
She darted off before any more questions could be lobbed at her, and my gut curdled slightly at how frazzled she’d seemed. I made eye contact with Griffin, worry and frustration etched into his features.
The rest of the table had been too deep in conversation to notice Aly’s abrupt departure, so Griffin and I turned our attention back to them.
“Alright team, we’ve got this one,” Nate said, slapping the table. “The Thawson Initiative is officially a go!”
“We’re not calling it that,” I griped.
“Oops! Too late, it’s already been dubbed,” Micah piped up. “This calls for more shots!”
“Way ahead of you.” Cal glided over smoothly with a small tray of varied shots.
Bash cleared his throat loudly and raised his shot glass. “To Thawson and us not fucking up this epic, romantic gesture!”
“To Thawson!” They all cheered as one before throwing back their shots.
I laughed and took my own shot, the whiskey burning as it traveled down my throat. I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to accomplish what I had in mind, but Theo was worth it. I wanted to sweep him off his feet like he had done with me a hundred times before. All I could see in my mind’s eye was the surprise and joy on his face I knew I’d see, and I’d do whatever it took to make it a reality.
When my baby came home to me, I’d make it a day he’d never forget.
Chapter 46
Theo
Journal Day 10
Mercury,
We had music therapy today and it made me think of you. We had to choose two songs that we connected to. One that represents who we were before rehab and one that represents who we want to be after.
I’ll tell you, it was a lot fucking harder than it sounded. And without my phone to browse through Spotify? Impossible.
But then I thought about you and all the songs you’ve played for me over the years. I thought about how you mostly choose to play piano when you’re feeling some type of way and you need to process your emotions. But you play your guitar when you really want to pour your heart out and send a message, those times when the only words worth saying are better sung. You play the piano with your head, but the guitar with your soul.
So I thought of my own piano and guitar songs. My “head and soul music”, as ridiculous as that sounds. Want to hear what they are?
I’m gonna tell you anyway.
But if you laugh, no blowjobs for a month.
My head song was Avril’s “Head Above Water”. Yeah, I know, it was a little on the nose. Stop laughing.
All I was doing was barely treading water, trying to survive before I came back to you. I never told you this, but there were a few seconds when I went under at the lake that I didn’t want to come back up. And I’m not sure I would have. But then you saved me and a switch flipped inside. Suddenly all I wanted to do was fight to keep you. I wanted to keep resurfacing no matter how many times I went under because I couldn’t be without you.
You saved me in more ways than you can comprehend, baby.
I think I’ll save my soul song for when I see you again. It’s better if I tell you in person.
Just wait for me.
Chapter 47
Theo
Journal Day 14
Mercury,
