“You…” he whispered brokenly. “You’re my reason, Mercury. And I don’t—I don’t want to die. I just don’t want to be broken anymore…”
I rushed forward as he collapsed in great, heaving sobs. I wrapped him in an iron grip and tugged him backwards so he was lying beside me, his face buried in my neck. Theo clung to my shirt as he cried and fell apart, and I rocked him gently in my arms. I couldn’t stop my hands from running over his hair, his shoulders, his back, any part of him I could reach. I gripped his hand and pressed a soft kiss to our tattoo, the touch cementing the fact he was safe and that I would never let him go.
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry…” he wailed as I tried to soothe him. I petted his hair and whispered calming words in his ear, telling him over and over how much I loved him.
His anguish shredded me down to my core, tearing at the threads holding me together until there was nothing but our broken pieces scattered across the roof. I didn’t know what to say to make any of it better. I wasn’t sure what he needed to hear to convince him that a life with me was worth every ounce of fight he had in his bones.
A hum started in my chest, growing stronger and morphing into an aria carved straight from my heart. I started to sing to him, low and shaky from my dwindling tears, but eventually Theo’s sobs quieted and his tremors slowed. His fingers dug into my side and he hugged me tighter as the song filtered in through his pain and recognition hit.
There was nothing I could say better than what the music conveyed for me. I crooned our song to him, our chosen melody, hoping beyond measure that he took it as my solemn vow, my unbreakable promise that I would stand by him.
That we would build a beautiful life from the heart-shaped wreckage surrounding us.
That there was no better choice than the one he made to survive.
Chapter 39
Theo
The smell was what I noticed first. That odious, antiseptic hospital smell that never failed to infuse your clothes and skin like a noxious gas. After waking up in a room like this following my overdose, it was an experience I’d never wanted to repeat and I refused to open my eyes.
I sifted through the shards of memory that stuck out, trying to remember how I’d ended up here this time. It was a big, fuzzy picture that slowly became clearer, pixel by pixel, until it all crashed into me in a tidal wave of images.
The family dinner I’d ruined. The guilt and self-loathing. The drinking that had gone too far. The roof I’d haplessly climbed onto. The pool of stars. The worst decision born of a dark moment of hopelessness. And Dawson saving me…like he’d always saved me.
My Dawson…
“I’m right here, baby. You’re okay,” a smooth voice purred. It ran across my skin like silk, lighting up my nerve endings. I slowly peeled my gritty lids open to see Dawson slumped on the chair beside my hospital bed, my hand tucked between both of his.
His sandy brown hair was shaggy and unclean, overgrown stubble covered his jaw, and dark circles underlined his red-rimmed, swollen eyes. He was a wreck and the most goddamn beautiful sight in the world.
Fuck, I love him so much…
“I love you too. More than you know.”
I narrowed my eyes at him as my sluggish brain started to catch up.
“Were my inside thoughts actually outside thoughts?” I croaked out, wincing at the pain in my raw throat. Dawson chuckled roughly as he grabbed the water cup on the table and brought it to my lips. Instant relief hit me as I greedily sucked down the cool liquid.
“Yeah, you’ve been talking in your sleep for most of the day.”
“Well, shit…scale of one to ten, how embarrassed should I be?”
“A solid nine, for sure.”
“Eh, could be worse.”
The smile that tugged at his full lips distracted me and I ached to kiss him. But then the reality of where I was and what I’d done settled over me, and I realized I didn’t deserve to kiss him. I wasn’t even sure if he was still mine to kiss.
“What happened?” I whispered gruffly as shame filled me.
Dawson’s chin dropped and he fidgeted with his hands. “How much do you remember?”
“Mostly everything, but the details are iffy. The last thing I remember was…you singing our song to me.”
His features twisted with a crippling sadness that cut me to my core and I reached for him reflexively, but I hissed at the sharp pull in my left hand.
“Be careful of the IV,” Dawson warned softly, covering my other hand with his. “They’ve been giving you fluids since you came in. I was able to help you climb back through the window,but you made it maybe halfway down the hall before you passed out, so Dani called 911.”
