“Yeah, it-it’s beautiful,” I agreed placatingly. “Why don’t you come down here and enjoy it with me?”
Theo didn’t seem to hear me as he stared almost longingly down at the water. “Have you ever wanted to swim in the stars? Get lost in them? Do you think it’s possible?”
The words took on a morose quality that stiffened my spine even more. My attention was riveted on him as I fought not to blink, even as stinging tears threatened.
“I don’t know,” I croaked.
“Come swim in the stars with me, Mercury,” he softly pleaded. He teetered on the edge of the roof, raising his arms slightly for balance.
“No no no no! Don’t move, baby!” I cried, holding out my hands uselessly as though I could push him back by sheer will. Dani’s loud gasp cut across the yard and I frantically waved her over.
“Keep him talking and try to get him to back up. Whatever you do, donottake your eyes off him,” I told her firmly before calling to him. “Theo, I’m coming up. Don’t move an inch!”
She nodded her agreement and her teary gaze clawed at my chest. I heard her start talking to Theo, but couldn’t make it out as I bolted for the door, thanking all the fucking heavens above that it was unlocked. I bounded up the stairs to the smaller third floor, my chest heaving as I pushed myself as fast as my legs could carry me. I made a beeline down the hall, finding the unlatched window that provided access to the roof.
Dragging myself through the narrow frame wasn’t as easy as it was when I was a kid, but I managed to crawl out and steady myself on the sloped shingles. I heard Dani’s watery voice as shebegged Theo to be careful, and I turned my head in time to watch him sway too far forward.
I let out a strangled shout, fear paralyzing my limbs as Theo pinwheeled his arms to stay upright. His eyes met mine when he found his footing and my heart splintered at the misery that crossed his features.
“You’re here,” he breathed, barely audible across the space between us.
“Always,” I forced out past my chattering teeth, trying to control the shivers that racked my body. “I’ll always come for you.”
Theo’s shoulders fell and he seemed to sag with an invisible weight. His face was drawn with pain and my chest stuttered with shaky breaths as I inched closer to him.
His lips turned up in the saddest smile that trembled at the corners. “I’m so sorry you had to love me…I wish I had been better for you.”
“W-what are you t-talking about?” My face grew warm and my throat constricted around a painful knot that refused to go down.
“You didn’t deserve this. I just wanted to make you happy…so happy…”
“Don’t you talk like that. Youdomake me happy!”
My lungs were on fire even as my blood ran cold. Terror blanketed me as I felt him slipping away with each word, each second that he wasn’t safely in my arms. I was still several feet away, but it felt as though every step I took did nothing to close the distance separating us, and I realized he was slowly backing up as I crept forward.
“Why are you talking like this?” I choked out. “You c-can’t…you just?—”
I clamped my lids shut to stem the wave of tears that rushed to the surface and drowned my words. I blinked rapidly to clear my vision as Theo let his own tears fall.
“Will you sing for me, Mercury?”
The softly spoken question broke me and I clenched my jaw against the sob caught in my throat. I pulled in a gasping breath, denial blaring in my brain that he was talking like a man at the end of his rope, at the end of all options.
“Don’t do this…please don’t leave me again…”
The smile that had graced his sweet lips fell, his features clouding over as more tears slid down his pale cheeks.
“I don’t want to be like this anymore, Dawson. I just want it to stop.” The despair that laced his words almost brought me to my knees, my legs quaking from the effort to hold me up.
“No! No, you don’t mean that,” I argued desperately, hot tears streaking down my skin. “You p-promised me…don’t break your promise, p-please. I didn’t give up on you, so don’t give up on us! Come back to me, baby…just come back to me.”
Theo’s face crumpled and he wrapped his arms around his middle as shudders rippled down his frame. “Why do you even want me? Why do you want someone like me? You could find someone so much better…someone who isn’t a mistake.”
“You couldneverbe a mistake. You are my whole fucking world, and I can’t lose you again! Don’t take this away from us…stay with me and fight through this becauseyoudeserve it. Don’t let this thing take everything away from you. We’ll find a way together, just like I promised.”
“Don’t make a promise you can’t keep…”
“I’m not. If you keep your promise, then I swear to you I’ll keep mine,” I said, holding his gaze intently. “I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you fighting and give you a reason to stay.”
