Lying awake one night in Simon’s guest room, a sense of peace filled me.This,I thought,is what it’s supposed to feel like.
Now, as we sat around the table, my father announced the airline contract the hotel had secured.
“You should have seen the presentation Caleb gave,” he said with pride, carving into his fish. “The representatives didn’t know what hit them. He even answered a question that he was not prepared for, and they were blown away by his quick calculation and fast response.”
I lifted my glass, but paused. “Nyah deserves credit for that.”
My father frowned.
“You didn’t see the paper she passed me?”
My mother smiled at me, eyes bright. “Still, it was your presentation that got the contract, darling.”
“She saved me,” I admitted. “I wouldn’t have landed it without her.”
Simon raised his glass. “Congratulations, baby brother. Welcome to the business.”
No sarcasm. No edge. Just acknowledgment.
Even the house help seemed to be singing a different tune. I had walked into their quarters one night after the rest of the family had departed to their rooms. They all stood up immediately, standing upright and nervously fumbling with their clothes.
“Sorry, sir. Is there something we can get you? Something that we can help you with?”
“Nothing. I don’t want anything.” I crossed and then uncrossed my arms, swallowed and cleared my throat. “I just wanted to say I am sorry.” A weight lifted off my chest as I continued. “I’m sorry for how I’ve behaved in the past and for how I treated each of you.” After shaking their hands individually, I left their quarters with them staring at me, their mouths still hanging open.
Each time I came over after that, I was greeted with a warm and welcoming smile, something I hadn’t received previously. ‘Please’ and ‘thank you’ had become part of my daily vocabulary, which made my mother and father do a double-take.
“What has gotten into you?” my mother asked.
“Nothing, Mother,” I said, sipping coffee. “I learned that respect is supposed to be earned, not just handed out like candy.”
I apologized to Martina and Taylor, too. Even though it was late, I offered sincere condolences for their loss. “I’m sorry about the baby,” I said, handing Martina some flowers. “I was insensitive and rude at that time. Please accept my apologies.” Her jaw dropped as I shook Taylor’s hand. “If there is anything you need, please just let me know.” I handed them a new contract, which included a raise in their salaries. The joy on their faces was something I hadn’t seen in years. It made me feel good, and I realized that this was what I needed to feed my soul rather than the vacuous models I used to date.
Each time I arrived home, I placed my jacket on the hanger and put my dirty clothes in the laundry basket. That was after I greeted Martina first at the door.Who said a leopard doesn’t change its spots?
And yet—even as the warmth settled in, even as I felt recognized and finally, truly seen—a name pressed at the back of my mind.
Lucas.
He stayed there too, like an unwelcome shadow. I didn’t want him there. I didn’t want the intrusion, didn’t want the reminder that while my world was slowly falling into place, there was a part of Nyah’s life I had no claim to—no right to resent—and still couldn’t ignore.
I kept the date I’d arranged that evening but cut it short. I couldn’t focus. I kept comparing the woman across the table to Nyah—her voice, her presence, the way she listened.
Eventually, I stood. “I’m sorry, but something urgent has come up. I’ll drop you home.”
Driving afterward, my mind refused to settle. I missed a turn, exited the highway too early, and ended up on the wrong road entirely.Get out of my head, Nyah.
But she didn’t.
And neither did the unsettling realization that somewhere along the way, without intending to, without planning to, I had started wanting something I had no right to want at all.
20
NYAH
“Morning’s here, morning is here!” The song fromFriends—the one Joey sang when he returned to his apartment—popped into my head as I stood on the balcony.
It was a pleasant twenty-four degrees Celsius, with just the right amount of breeze kissing the air.
