No I can’t call you. My child is sitting across from me eating strawberry jam from the jar with a spoon. I can’t say these things out loud, so focus. You and Stephen were best friends until you weren’t. How did you bridge the gap? How did you tell him that you wanted to be more than just friends? Weren’t you terrified of ruining everything?
Dottie Lynn:
Well, Stephen and I were fifteen the first time we kissed, and from that very moment he was my boyfriend. I don’t think we had the time or the frontal lobe development to worry about ruining our friendship. But honestly? It was easy. It was like one day, Stephen was this handsome boy who gave me butterflies in my stomach and not just the boy who liked to dig for worms in the dirt with me.
Delilah:
Okay, well what about the second time around? How did you get back together?
Dottie Lynn:
This might come as much of a shock to you as it did for me, but we had to talk about it. All the passing glances and brushed hands and stolen kisses mean nothing unless you can talk about your feelings with the person you want to be with.
That’s what you want, right? To be with Ivy? Or is it really just a horny sex thing?
Delilah:
No, it’s not just a horny sex thing. I think there’s a part of me that always wondered and now…now I don’t want to wonder anymore. I’m finally free to act on this feeling that’s been buzzing in my ear for years, but I still feel like my hands are tied. What if she doesn’t feel the same way? What if it doesn’t work out and everything gets weird? Maybe I should let this go.
Dottie Lynn:
You want my advice on something, Delilah? Don’t let it go. Talk to Ivy, tell her how you feel. If you really want to be with Ivy in a romantic way, she deserves to know. Either way, you can’t make this choice one-sided. That’s not fair to either of you.
Delilah:
What if she rejects me? What if I tell her everything I’m thinking and it ruins our friendship?
Dottie Lynn:
That’s a risk you have to decide if you’re willing to take. But Delilah, I think you should learn from my mistakes. I mean, sure, Stephen and I are happy now. But I missed out on ten years with him because I made assumptions about his feelings without talking to him.
Delilah:
Dottie, you were eighteen. No one can blame you for being scared of the tough stuff.
Dottie Lynn:
Exactly. I was eighteen then. We’re grown now. We have to know better and do better. So I think you should be a grown-up and give Ivy the option to reject you before you go and do it yourself. Because falling in love with your best friend? Oh, Delilah. There is nothing like it.
15
SO NOT FETCH
IVY
After the Earl debacle at the farmer’s market, Delilah got a call from her mom asking her to meet them at the high school. Sadie took a tumble during her game and scraped her knee up pretty badly. Not enough to need stitches, thankfully, but enough that the kid was crying for her mama. Artie offered her a ride in his pickup truck, which I insisted she take, since she and Little Bean had already been out here in the summer sun for far too long. I stayed behind to finish out the last hour of the market and then break down the stand.
I also wanted the alone time to mentally freak the fuck out about having just kissed my very straight best friend and then claimed her like a dog pissingcircles around her feet in front of the entire town. A woman needs privacy for a mental spiral of that caliber.
I’m just loading the last of the empty crates into the back of my Jeep (a simple task since we sold out of jam and I left the roof of the car in the garage this morning. I can just heave everything into the exposed trunk) when my phone buzzes in my back pocket.
“Hello?” I say once I fumbled an AirPod out of the case clipped to my belt loop and shove it into my ear.
“Hey, Ivy. It’s Devi.”
“I know, Dev. Believe it or not, after all these years of working together I have your number saved in my phone. What’s up? Everything okay over at L&L?” It’s been…hell, two weeks since I checked in on the team at Lilith & Lace. Part of my laissez-faire approach as of late is because I know the crew can handle running the shop in my absence so I don’t have to hover. But mostly, I’ve been so wrapped up in my life here in Fox Hole that I sort of just forgot.
“Yeah, everything is going really well. I just needed to check in with you about Daren Miller.”
