He nods, his eyes dipping to my dirt-stained T-shirt. Then he steps up next to me and rests his arms along the top of the fence as he looks out at the water. “You a farmer?”
I glance at him, but he keeps his gaze on the boats easing into the dock.
“Yeah,” I say as I wipe my wet cheeks. Then I follow his line of sight to the boats. “You a fisherman?”
He nods. “Yeah. But not here. I fish lobster in Nova Scotia.” He lifts a small plastic bait container in one hand. “I just stopped in to grab some bait. I’m here for the weekend to…” he pauses and rolls his eyes, “fly fish.”
I huff a small laugh. “A regular rod with a reel is better.”
He tosses his hands in the air and nods at me. “Thank you!”
I chuckle and turn back to the water, then sigh.
What the fuck is wrong with me? This random guy who just came to the wharf for bait now has to fucking babysit me because I’m having a freak out.
I want Levi.
I need him… and this is all just proof of how much I need him.
“Sorry for this,” I say to the guy. “I just… I’m just a mess right now.”
“That’s alright,” he says. “I’ve been a mess before.”
He continues to stand with me, and I glance at him again as he stares out at the water. He doesn’t know me, or know who I am. He just watched me completely break down and lose my shit, yet he’s standing here with me, making sure I’m ok.
He’s not leaving.
He just saw my ugly and doesn’t know any of the good… and he’s not leaving.
“I have a fear of people leaving,” I say, the words coming out before I think better of it.
He turns to look at me but doesn’t say anything.
I stare back at him for a moment, letting my mind catch up to the fact that I just told him that. I’m not sure why I did, but he just continues to watch me, like he’s waiting for me to continue.
“I’ve been abandoned a lot,” I continue, shifting my gaze back to the water as I just let the words come and not question them. “And… I’m worried my family might leave me if I tell them who I really am. And I might lose someone really important to me if I don’t.”
My vision blurs again as the tears return, and I try to blink them away. But the thought of losing the people I love rips my heart open and makes it bleed all over again.
I feel his eyes on me, but I keep mine straight ahead as I try to hold myself together and focus on the slow movement of the boats rocking against the dock.
“I know something about that,” he says. “It’s confusing.”
A tear breaks free as I nod, those confusing thoughts all continuing to swirl around in my head.
“I wish I had some great advice that would change everything and make it all better, but I don’t,” he says. “All I can tell you isthat accepting who you truly are is probably the greatest gift you can give yourself.”
A soft sob breaks free from my chest as I lift my hand to wipe my tears.
“There’s always a chance something won’t work out,” he continues. “And one thing I’ve learned is that I can’t control everything. And ironically, when you give up some control, you get a lot of power back.”
An image of Redwave flashes through my mind at that, followed by Levi’s words.
The villain may have taken his power, but he didn’t take his heart.
He gains his power back by refusing to break and by taking it back, piece by piece.
“Trusting that the right people will stay takes a lot of courage,” the guy says softly.
