“I’m your hot, young boyfriend, get used to it.”
“And what does that make me?”
“Mine,” he said with conviction.
“Yours?” I laughed. I loved how simple this was becoming. Where there was…no fear.
“Who else is looking after you? That is my job now. Apart from Mary. She’s dead, but she’s all right. As long as none of those saucepans hit you on the head, then that’s okay.”
“Oliver,” I growled.
“We have to talk about it. Otherwise, this will… I don’t want the castle. I don’t want the fractures. I just want this, at the baseline. Both of us on solid ground.”
“Okay,” I whispered.
“I’m not on solid ground, not yet. But I will be. Let me work at it, go to therapy and get some help and just make sense of everything in my head.”
“We will do that. And I will be right here.”
“I’m really scared where it will take me. There are some dark places I really don’t want to revisit.”
“You may have to.”
“I know.”
“Maybe I should too. Go…you know. Talk to someone.”
“You should talk to my boss. She’s badass. She can like whip up two sentences, and I feel like she’s stabbed me in the guts.”
“Good.” I had to laugh. Because…
This was so easy. So lovely. His chest now bare. My hands on his shoulders.
“Are you…into topping? Bottoming?” He was looking straight at me. Like this was the conversation we were now having.
I wanted to laugh. But that would have been so wildly inappropriate that I couldn’t even…
“One day, when we are both ready for it. I would love to fuck you. Does that answer your question?”
“So we are very well matched then.”
“I suppose we are.”
“I think I would like you to. You know. Eventually. I think it would be good.”
“I would make it good. I’ve got…some experience.”
“I don’t. I like being… It’s what I like. I think. When…”
He took a deep breath.
“We have time,” I said sternly. “I want you to know that. No pressure. No stress. Just…”
“Just what?”
“Do you…” Oh God. I couldn’t help it. Perhaps I was giving him time? But I had none. I wanted this. So much. “Can we just lie in bed. Please.”
“Naked?” He smiled.
