“I think I should be the judge of that.”
“You’re not very good at judging.” I laughed too.
“You’re already in love with me. Is that what you’re trying to say?”
Trust him to stab me like that.
I was still dodging saucepans here and hoping I would say the right things.
“Oliver? Can you please come home?” I said.
I actually said it.
“Only if you say the words.”
Bastard.
“Please.”
“Not good enough.”
Oh.
“Oliver? Hi,” I started. Then I cleared my throat. “I’m Peter. I’m forty-five, and I was married to my wife for a goddamn long time. I’m also…I think… Oliver, I think you’re the most wonderful person I have met in a long time. Also…I loved kissing you. I can’t sleep in my bed because you’re not there. I slept on the sofa last night because I’m so in love with you that everything feels wrong. Is that…enough words?”
“Only if you mean them,” he said quietly.
“Oliver, I’m terribly and really very badly infatuated with you. I want you. I need you here. I can’t be much clearer than that.”
Silence. How I hated the silence. I’d always loved the peace it brought. Now it just made me anxious.
“Oliver?”
“Can you come to me? Come pick me up?”
“I’ll be there,” I replied. Then I hung up. Because yes. He was right.
Enough. It was time to actually say it.
I was in love with him. And now? I had to go and fix everything I hadn’t bothered to fix. Including myself.
“Cal?” I shouted.
“Yes?”
“Where does he live?”
“I thought you’d never ask.”
And just like that, he got up off the sofa and grabbed his keys from the worktop. Like he’d planned all of this, when… Perhaps he had. Perhaps I was just a puppet here. A willing one.
He drove me in silence. Me, properly dressed and all. Because I was, after all, a grown-up. And he was the most important thing here. Oliver. Apart from Cal, who was grinning happily in the driving seat.
“We need to get you a car, Dad,” he muttered. “This is ridiculous.”
“I’ve never needed one,” I protested. “The environment…”
“Fuck the environment.” He poked a finger at me, still steering with the other hand. “You’re on a quest here, to get back the man you love. And you have to get your kid to drive you.”
