“We live in a modern society, and for the record, that wording is well premature.”
“I doubt it. I mean, look at you. Shirt and tie. What the fuck?”
“Yeah,” I agreed. I was…slightly ridiculous, having thrown some better clothes on. I yanked the tie off.
“He’s a nice guy. I’ve been over a few times now.”
“A few times?” I was not surprised. Cal was Cal.
“He’s got this great flat, penthouse, huge coffee maker and not much else. Like…he’s not happy there, you can tell. All bare. He owns like…one chair.”
Oh, Oliver.
“I love your mum.” I had to say it.
I felt like I had to say it.
“She’s dead, Dad. And you need to go back to work. That is non-negotiable.”
“I know.”
Damn it.
“She’s dead, Dad. Dead. She knew she was dying, and she didn’t want you to do this.” His hand once again in the air. Circles. Frustration. I understood it all too well. “What you ended up doing. She knew you’d sink straight into a dark hole and never love anyone else again. Because that’s what you do. You love, and when you love, you love deeply.”
“I do.” I knew that. Could freely admit to it.
“And your marriage wasn’t…always perfect. Mum knew that too.”
I nodded. Lies. So many lies. I’d told them too. Over and over again.
“So don’t fuck this up. Mum wouldn’t want you to. And you know we can do this. We’re all in a good place now. We’re good together. Good with the space. We’ve met Ollie now, and he’s solid. Even Ed says he’s a good lad.”
“He’s…my….”
“He’s your boyfriend, Dad. Maybe more. Maybe less. I hope more. You can say it, you know. Out loud.”
“I know.”
“Then fucking say it!”
“We need to stop shouting!” I shouted. “Oliver hates it. It…” Shit. “Makes him nervous.”
“His stepdad used to threaten to break every bone in his body. I think he struggles with that.”
That put an end to that step forward. I hadn’t known that. How did I not know that?
“He gets triggered easily. I mean, he didn’t exactly say that, but yeah. I can read between the lines. I don’t think he meant to tell me, but it kind of…came out.”
“Which is why I need to talk to him.”
“Don’t shout.”
“I won’t.”
“We’relike, five minutes away. Do you want to ring him and tell him to come down?”
“Can I…” Okay, brain. Work. “I think I need to go up and get him. Just…you know.”
