It was a moment I’d never forget. Frasier had rushed me to the hospital, holding my hand as they’d asked a million questions and run a variety of tests. I’d squeezed his hand, hoping to reassure him and wipe away the worry creasing his brow.
Through it all, I’d felt nothing but his care and concern. His love.
“Willyou be okay if I step out for a minute?” he asked. “I should call Coach.”
I nodded. I’d given up arguing that he should go back to the hotel.
He leaned over, pressing a kiss to my forehead. “I won’t be long.” And then he left.
A few minutes later, the doctor returned.And my whole world had changed in the blink of an eye.
“Congratulations, Mrs. Morgan. You’re pregnant.”
I’d clutched at my throat.Pregnant? Mrs. Morgan?
Derek’s last name.
Frasier’s baby.
And then I’d thrown up again.
“And now?”Allie asked. “How do you feel?”
“I’m still in shock,” I admitted. I hadn’t believed it at first. We’d been using condoms. But the bloodwork had confirmed it then, as had the appointment last week with my OB. “At first, I needed to digest the news. I needed confirmation from my doctor. And then, I’d told myself to just tell Frasier. But there also hasn’t really been a good time.”
“You seem reluctant to tell him,” she said. “Are you worried about how he’ll respond?”
“I mean, yes and no. It’s not like we were planning this or even trying for it. But I know he loves me.”
“True, but I know Frasier, and he adores you. Don’t you think he’ll be happy about the baby, even if the timing is a bit of a surprise?”
Of that, I had little doubt. I knew Frasier loved me, just like I knew he would love this child. I nodded, feeling even more selfish for keeping this secret from him for as long as I had.
I should be happy. Iwashappy. I knew that things didn’t always go according to plan, and this was a gift. I’d found love again with an amazing man, and we were going to have a baby together.
And yet…I couldn’t help thinking of Derek. I peered down at my tattoo, stuck between the past and the future. Derek and Frasier. The two men I loved.
I counted out the little sixes to calm myself. Thirty.
Thirty. Sixes.
I blinked a few times. Thirty was Frasier’s lucky number, his jersey number, just like six had been Derek’s.
And together, they formed the most beautiful butterfly.
Butterflies were a symbol of transformation and rebirth. Every time I saw one, it felt as if Derek was saying hello. But now, I’d also come to realize that butterflies were a reminder of everything I’d overcome, always with Fraiser at my side. Butterfly was also the position a goalie often adopted in defending the net.
Maybe I was looking for meaning where there was none, but it seemed crazy to me that I’d never made those connections before now. Never realized that my tattoo was a perfect representation of the two men I loved.
I was still thinking of that as I talked to my therapist. Got ready for bed. Formulated a plan.
The following day, another package arrived. This time, it was Frasier’s lucky shirt. The note read, “I don’t need luck. All I need is you.”
And I needed Frasier, and it was time to show him that. It was time to go home.
“So…”Allie glanced over at me as we neared the line for airport security. “How are you feeling?”
I held a hand to my stomach. “Like I’m going to throw up.”
