That’s why, as soon as Mr Tavish closed his door, she tore into her own flat, shouting, ‘Ava, what time do we need to leave here, hon?’
Silence.
No response.
She must have her earphones in.
‘Ava?’ Kiki tried again.
Still no response.
Kiki dropped her bag onto the sideboard that sat in the hall, and tried Ava’s bedroom – empty. Next stop, kitchen.
‘Ava?’
She didn’t need a response this time. Ava was sitting over at the table in front of the window, the one that Kiki sat at every morning with her first coffee of the day.
But she wasn’t looking out at the sun. She was staring at the tablet in front of her, the one that Kiki had been issued by the school she worked at so that she had access to the apps and training resources that she used as a classroom assistant. The one that was linked to her phone, so that all her emails and texts were delivered there too.
‘You lied, Mum.’
Three words. That was all.
Before she said anything else, Kiki knew exactly what had just happened, but Ava spelled it out anyway.
‘I saw the texts Dad sent you. You said that he was held up at work – but it was “family stuff”. What does that even mean?’
‘I’m sorry, Ava. I don’t know.’
Kiki felt that cold spread of rage creep across her skin, bringing all her nerve endings to the surface, and she wanted to scream. And she would, later. But, right now, her priority was to find some way really quickly to soothe the pain that was in every curve and shadow of her daughter’s beautiful face.
‘I’m sure it must be something really important…’
‘Am I not important?’ Ava shot back, and the venom in her voice was so uncharacteristic that Kiki felt it as a direct blow to the heart.
‘Yes, you are…’
‘Then why are you always sticking up for him? Making excuses for him? I don’t get it, Mum. Why?’
Now her words had been dipped in hurt and anguish.
‘I’m not making excuses for him…’ How could she explain it? The reason she softened the blows that Kev dealt out was because she didn’t want this. She didn’t want her daughter hurt. She didn’t want her to feel for a single second that the person who should love her most in this world just did not give a damn. Maybe that was wrong, but it was the only way she’d felt she could protect Ava for the last sixteen years.
‘No, you’re flat-out lying for him too! You told me he said he’d send the money for my clothes. He didn’t. So how did we…?’
The truth must have dawned – and it seemed to escalate her fury even more. ‘You paid for them.’ It was an accusation. ‘But we don’t have the money for that.’
‘It’s fine, honey, I…’ Kiki was still speaking in calm, caring tones, trying her best to defuse this. They didn’t need this today. This was one of the rare days that they had something to look forward to together. A night out. Even if it came with a whole other stressful situation that her daughter knew nothing about.
However, she didn’t get to finish the sentence before Ava blurted, ‘Take it all back. The dress. The shoes. I don’t want them. Take it all back.’
She was shouting now, and a huge tear was dropping down her left cheek.
‘Honey, no. I want you to have it. You deserve all of this and so much more. I’m sorry…’
‘For lying?’ Ava was on her feet now, eyes blazing, such an uncharacteristic outburst from her sweet, shy daughter that Kiki was momentarily stunned speechless. The worst thing was, she could completely understand how Ava felt. If her mum, the closest person in her life, could lie to her, then who could she trust?
‘I don’t want any of it. None of it. I don’t even want to go tonight. Just forget that too.’
