“I . . . yes, you are responsible. You chose to follow the guidance.”
“All right. Then you have made your judgment on this event. Move on.”
A.D. frowned, and I found it interesting that it would manifest its frustrations into something I could see. Or maybe I sensed his frustration through our mental link and interpreted it in his projected image. Who knows? Minds should never merge like ours. It's damn confusing.
Next came Iktomi. Before him, gods had abused me badly, but Iktomi took torture to an entirely new level. He had torn me apart in the Internet, hurting my mind while my body remained whole. The bastard had found a way to cause me unlimited pain without worrying about me dying and ruining his fun. It was unending, merciless torture, and it made A.D. draw back from the screen in horror.
“Yeah, Iktomi was foul,” I said in response to the machine's horror. “But I stopped him from hurting millions of people, and I met Torrent. Iktomi made Torrent, and for that alone, I'm grateful for his existence.”
“Grateful? That god did unspeakable things to you, and you're grateful that he lived?”
“Well, I killed him, and I got to keep the best part of him—Torrent. Torr is worth every ounce of pain I endured. He is a true friend and one of the best men I've ever known. The mere fact that he exists gives me hope.”
“Why?”
“Because it reminds me that even the greatest evil can make something pure.”
A.D. blinked rapidly and stared at the screen. “Good born of evil. Gratitude for pain. Life is baffling. I don't understand how you endure it.”
That it could feel so much on my behalf gave me hope. Maybe it was pretending to feel emotions, trying to mimic life again. But if this was mimicry, the machine was an incredible actor.
Could machines learn to feel emotions? Could they be taught to love and cherish or even to hate? Anything can be taught, and the easiest way to learn something is to immerse yourself in the subject. The machine was fully immersed in my emotions.
A.D. turned to face me, a scene of my mental torture paused on the screen behind it. I didn't look at A.D. immediately. Something on the screen caught my attention—a pale face peering around a stunted tree, and a pale hand extended, magic shimmering through the air. I recognized the moment. It had been a rare reprieve from pain. Now, I knew that reprieve had come from Torrent. He'd been helping me all along, knowing Iktomi would torture him worse than he had me if Torr was caught.
“Torr,” I whispered.
A.D. glanced over his shoulder. “That is the man you speak of?”
“Yes, he was helping me, and I didn't know it. Torrent thought he was evil because the god who made him was evil. But that moment right there proves that he never was.” I motioned at the screen. “An evil person would never have taken pity on me or risked helping me. Torr knew what his father was doing was wrong, and he tried to stop him. He wasn't just good; he was also brave. When I got Torrent away from Iktomi, I taught him that each person determines their own worth. I told him he could choose to be good or evil. It wasn't something forced upon him by birth. Now, Torrent is free of Iktomi and has become a powerful god with a good, happy life.” I looked at A.D. “That makes everything I endured worth it.”
“You are a kind person, Vervain.”
“Ah, but you're not done yet.” I smirked. “Keep watching, A.D. There's so much more to see.”
And there was. Together, we watched as I battled faeries and gods, lost Odin, and then went into the Void to bring him back. A.D.'s eyes widened as I wandered through the Realm of Dreams. It gasped as I fought Morpheus and smiled when I redeemed him. Its clawed hands clenched into fists when I fought Zeus, and one of those fists shot into the air when I brought Zeus down. It clapped when I became an Olympian. Then it went quiet as it watched Nayenezgani strap me to a cross and leave me to roast in the sun. It wrapped its arms around itself when Toby helped me, its expression going tender when we fought for the Native Americans and fell in love.
My heart had healed from losing Toby, but watching us fall in love all over again was like acid on my heart. I held my breath as he died in my arms, and had to look away when I brought him back from the Void. So many lives touched. So many destroyed.
I couldn't lose myself in emotions now. A.D. was enthralled, and I had to watch it. When the time came, I would pounce. So, I once more pushed the pain of the past away and focused on the present.
Every crossroads saw A.D. faltering. Piece by piece, darkness consumed the machine. With a soft shudder, Ereshkigal's keys broke free, Judgment fleeing as the machine's judgment failed. It floundered, unsure what to believe, and Ma'at's feather fluttered away, Truth set free by an inability to grasp it. With those two gone, the machine couldn't analyze souls. Thoth's tablets fell out of the cage of wires imprisoning them. Still, A.D. watched the screen, drawn deeper into the maze of my life.
Lights flashed around us before going out. Another part of the machine died, burned out by a lack of control and direction. Not a relic, just a piece of the original machine. I had to keep pushing.
On the screen, I battled Hanuman. My family and friends helped me free the prisoners Hanuman had taken and the Nagas he had enslaved. A.D. fell to his knees as it watched Ull die in battle. I swayed with him, the pain finding me anew. But that moment morphed into joy as I took Ull's soul into me and made him a part of my son.
“It doesn't end,” A.D. whispered. “So much pain. So much joy. It keeps coming.”
The scene shifted to the battle at the end of the Egyptian Underworld. I had almost died, attacked by Ptah and his soul-splitting scepter. Instead, my unborn son had taken the blow and allowed his soul to be split in two. But my baby was no ordinary child. He had two souls and a fey essence. Onlyhis human soul split. He became two fetuses—one taking his fey essence and the other taking Ull's god soul. Thus, my son became twins—Brevyn and Rian. Brevyn held Ull's soul, but he wasn't Ull. Not entirely.
When the movie of my life came to the part where my grown fey daughter traveled back in time using my ring to save me from a broken future, the machine shook violently. A.D. was still on the floor, but he looked up, a flash of energy surging through him. He shot to his feet and vanished.
“Damn it,” I muttered. I'd almost had him. Then I shouted, “We have an agreement, A.D.! You will lose if you stop now!”
A form took shape before me. Golden, but not an animal. This time, the machine took an unknown image. It was male, large, and angry.
“You tricked me!” The machine vibrated.
