He stilled. Slowly, he shook his head. “I love working with the kids at the high school. I love volunteering at the shelter. I’m not one of those guys who feels his life isn’t complete without having a legacy to leave. I worried about my mom wanting grandkids, but we had that conversation. She understands. She’s also the first to admit being a parent—especially a single parent—is really hard. Now—” He drew in a breath and let it out. “If I met someone who knewthey wanted to become a parent—that their lives wouldn’t be complete without that—I’d reconsider.”
“You shouldn’t have to.” I continued to hold his hand.
“Life is about compromises.”
“That’s a lifelong commitment. That’s more than a compromise. That’s—” I floundered.
“So how about you?”
“Nope. Kids are great. Someone else’s, though. I had a shitty childhood, and I worry I’d be a bad parent. And, frankly, it’s just not for me.”
“Knowing yourself is important. I love that gay people have choices.”
“Yeah. I’m old enough to remember when they didn’t. I’m happy to never go back to that time.”
“One moussaka and one chicken souvlaki.” Timothea waited until we pulled our hands apart before putting the plates of heavenly smelling food before us. “Anything else?”
We shook our heads.
“Bon appetit.” With that, she left us.
Finn held my gaze. “Was thekidsdiscussion the hardest part of the evening?”
“Christ, I hope so.”
“Great. Let’s eat.”
Chapter Thirty-Two
Finn
The chicken souvlaki was delicious. The restaurant was amazing. My date was finally calmer as he devoured his moussaka. I sipped my cola. “I feel like my world has tilted, you know?”
“Is you head bothering you? I should’ve brought food to your cabin instead of bringing you out.” He scanned the restaurant—likely looking for Timothea.
“Ulysses.” I waved my hand.
His attention snapped to me. “Huh?”
“I’m fine. Mild headache, no vertigo. Mom took me to see Doctor Raymond today. She trusts the neurologist, but wanted me to see my family doctor. To touch base, she said.”
“Your mother is a force of nature.”
“I believe she would see that as a compliment.”
“Imean it as such.”
“Yeah.” I sipped my drink again. “I talked to her about Giancarlo. She thinks I should consider getting counseling. Maybe up at Healing Horses Ranch. Maybe with someone like Justin.”
Ulysses cocked his head. “How do you feel about that?”
“About Giancarlo or about seeing a therapist? I’m really okay. I mean, I feel betrayed by a bunch of people—some of whom I trusted and some of whom I knew would screw me over eventually. Whether I should be surprised or just resigned now it’s happened is an open debate. One I’d rather not have.”
He squinted.
“Gerard and Marlon are fuckwits. Giancarlo has my number, and I won’t refuse to take his call. Does anything else really matter? I see the neurologist in two weeks, and as long as there haven’t been any setbacks, I should be cleared to return to light duties with a goal to be back to fighting fires in about a month. Don’t worry—I’m going to be honest with the doctor. I don’t want to go back before I’m fit for duty.”
“That sounds too easy?”
