I want more. I wanthim. I wanteverything.
But Will pulls back with one last soft press of his lips to mine, then gently lowers me to my feet again.
We’re both hard, I felt every inch of him when I slid down his body. With a pointed look, I flick my gaze down and then back up again. “What are you doing?”
“Not taking advantage,” he says breathlessly.
“No, we’re past that, Will. I know you want me,” I say, maybe a little too sternly.
He must notice the hint of old insecurities creeping up.
“I want you,” he says sincerely. “I want you in every way possible. But I don’t deserve to have you yet.”
“Says who?” I say dismissively.
“Ari, I’ve done so much to hurt you.”
The pain in his eyes is so evident, I’m able to take a step back and reassess. I don’t want him to think I’m not taking this seriously, but I’ll be damned if I let him leave me here alone tonight. And, yeah, there’s part of me that needs to see and feel that this is real, to witness the aftermath, before I can relax and truly accept his declarations.
“Alright then,” I say, raising my chin stubbornly. “You said you needed to confess to move on to the next stage, right?”
“Yeah…”
“Well, you confessed. I accept and am processing. So now you may proceed to the next stage.”
Will lets out a little laugh. “I’m not sure that’s how it’s supposed to work.”
“You wanted to grovel,” I tell him, pressing a hand to his chest. “So grovel.”
TWENTY-THREE
WILL
“So grovel.”
His words don’t fully process before I’m falling to my knees. There’s no part of me that believes I’m worthy of his attention, much less his forgiveness for all the ways I’ve hurt him. But as I watch the color of his eyes darken to a stormier ocean blue, I realize there isn’t a cell in my body that’s strong enough to resist the unfiltered need in his eyes.
This isn’t about me. I didn’t miss the flicker of uncertainty when I told him I wanted him, but didn’t want to take advantage. Maybe what’s more important now is to show him how serious I am, to show him I can give him what he needs without backing away. Without hiding or running away from how deeply I need him, too.
“I’ll do anything to earn your forgiveness,” I rasp.
“Anything?”
“Anything.”
Ari looks down at me for a few long moments, then takes several steps backwards, his eyes never leaving mine. He sits back down on the edge of the bed.
“Tell me you want me.” His voice is quiet, but strong. Confident in a way that lights me up inside.
“I want you, Ari. I’ve always wanted you.”
His eyes flutter shut. “Since when?”
“For as long as I can remember. I think I did even before I realized what it was.”
“When did you realize?”
“When I kissed you that first time. It really was meant to be innocent. All I ever wanted was to make you happy, to give you everything our shitty lives made feel impossible. But that day, I knew.”
