I don’t. I can’t.
I can’t see anything other than his halter-back dress shirt, the same one from the night we’re supposed to be pretending didn’t happen. The one that made it impossible not to touch his smooth, soft skin.
Ow. My chest clenches as my heart either skips a beat or triples up. Whatever happens, it doesn’t feel good.
Once my tunnel vision clears and I’m able to take him in completely, I see that he’s paired the shirt with black skinny jeans and his favorite pair of Docs. The front of his hair is pulled back, the rest left loose. A few strands frame his gorgeous face, his makeup is perfectly subtle, just enough to add a little color to his natural glow and accentuate his sensual allure. It’s the perfect mix of dressy and casual.
He’s so fucking sexy it hurts.
He’s dressed like that for him.Alonso is going to see him in that shirt, and he’s going to touch him. How could he not?
He’s going to touch what’s mine.
I seem to have moved closer without meaning to, standing only a few feet away from him now. “You look… amazing,” I say, trying to keep my breathing steady. My nails dig into my palms to keep from reaching out and running my fingers down his shoulder again.
A bright smile spreads across Ari’s face, his plump lips parting to show off his dazzling smile. “Thank you. It’s not too much?”
Only for my heart.
I shake my head. “You’re perfect.” As true as they are, the words feel inadequate. “Will you be cold?” I ask, still far too aware of all the bare skin on display.
Ari turns around to reach into the garment rack the styling department left here earlier. My eyes track the line of his spine until he shrugs into a cropped oxblood leather jacket.
Please don’t take that off.
Ari studies my face as he pulls his hair out from the collar, brows pulling together slightly so the overhead light catches on the subtle shimmer of his nude eyeshadow. “Are you okay?”
There’s a pause. A small one, but loaded. In the span of what can only be a couple seconds at most, I have an entire internal debate, convincing myself to pick him up caveman-style and tie him to my bed before I talk myself down and mentally and physically take a step back.
In that same pregnant pause, I feel Ari searching my eyes. It feels like he’s waiting, giving me a chance to say something.
But there’s nothing I can say.
I’m delusional enough to think he might look disappointed.
With a resigned nod, Ari takes a step back and turns for the door. His arm reaches out, long, delicate fingers wrapping around the handle, pushing down in slow motion. Eric is standing outside, waiting to accompany him to his destination.
“Ari—“ I say before I can stop myself.
He spins around, looking at me expectantly. Almost hopeful, even.
My breath catches, and I think better of my instincts.He deserves to be with someone good.
“Don’t forget to take an umbrella,” I say uselessly. I can see the large umbrella that Eric is holding in plain sight. “There’s a big storm moving in.” Still useless. We are all very aware of the storm. Now I just look like an idiot, or worse, he thinks I think he’s incapable of taking care of himself.
Ari nods, forcing a smile. “Right. Thanks, big brother.”
I feel that from the base of my throat all the way down to my balls. It mostly hurts really fucking bad, but there’s a little throb down there to remind me that I’m fucked in the head.
The door clicks shut.
“Have fun,” I whisper to the empty space.
When I’m finally able to tear my eyes away, Jesse is leaning against the hallway entrance, watching me with an expression that’s a little too perceptive for my comfort.
“You alright, man?”
“Yeah I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?”
