Good. I want to be seen. Not as someone’s little brother. Not as someone fragile. Not as someone who needs to be watched or managed, or protected, or handled. Just—seen. And maybe wanted.
I didn’t dress flashy or too loudly, but I wore something that made me feel good about myself. Something casual. And if it does enough of the advertising for me, because approaching people isn’t always my strength, then all the better for me. And what’s more casual than a walking advertisement for power bottoming and the bulge of a poppers bottle in my pocket?
I head to the bar, trying to decide if I should open one of the apps that Will hates. Well,William, not everyone attracts people like flies to honey. Some of us need a little help to break the ice, and knowing there’s someone within a fifty-foot radius who is looking to hook up is a lot more comfortable than putting myself out there. It seems I’ve gotten a little too used to the kind of places where there’s a bracelet that tells people what I’m down for, or having anything I am interested in shot down by a certain overbearing guard dog.
Stop thinking about him! Damnit!
“I don’t think you’re going to need that,” a deep, sultry voice says, and I almost drop my phone.
The flirtatious tone has me flicking my eyes up to meet a pair of light blues that run down my body appreciatively. A wicked grin spreads over his face when his gaze reaches mine, not one bit sorry to have gotten caught blatantly checking me out.
Okay, this I can work with.
Flirty bartender is a little taller than me, has wavy blond hair and a physique that suggests he spends a lot of time in the gym. I usually prefer a leaner type of muscle, the kind that’s earned through working manual labor jobs most of his life, kept up by the occasional run and a habit of helping the roadies haul equipment between shows. But this is nice, too. He seems like the type to throw me around a little bit if I asked him to.
Flirty bartender clears his throat. “I’m Julien.”
“Ari.”
“I’m guessing this is your first time here?”
I cock my head.
“I would have noticed a pretty thing like you.”
I laugh out loud, then lean in conspiratorially. “Does that line get you all the pretty boys?”
Julien winces and laughs. “Uh, no. Probably because I’ve never been dumb enough to say something like that out loud before.” His demeanor changing from aggressive flirt to awkward is kind of adorable.
“Sorry,” he says, still laughing at himself. “I actually meant it, not as a line, but… yeah. Nope. Forget that ever happened, please. Can I get you a drink or something?”
“Or something…”
He cocks a single brow, the flirty gleam in his eyes returning. “Alright then. Let me guess—Vodka?”
I nod.
“I’m thinking something simple, but top shelf. Sweet, but not too sweet.”
“I’m impressed.”
“Trust me?”
“To make me a drink based on your weirdly accurate profile? Sure.”
“Okay. Coming right up, Ari.”
I watch his ass as he turns and walks over to reach for a top-shelf bottle and a jar of cherries. Maybe I should ask him what his glute routine is. It wouldn’t hurt me to spend more time in the gym. I could get down with some gym bros.
I could get down with Julien for sure. And there’s no one here to stop me.
Like my thoughts are being projected into the universe to be heard by the only person in the world who could stop me, my phone rings. I stare Will’s name lighting up the screen, for several seconds before accepting the call.
“Where are you?” He asks. It almost sounds like he’s trying not to be a demanding twathead, but if that’s the case, he’s failing.
I smile faintly and watch Julien reach for a bottle behind the bar. “Out.”
“Ari.”
