“And once I do that, I won’t be as scared anymore, right?”
“Maybe. Or maybe it’s more of a process. But you’ll have done it. And that’s the goal.”
I wish I could guarantee that I’ll never be scared of the water again, but Nate’s right. I’ll probably always hate swimming.
But I can face this. I can at least learn how to deal with it.
This time, I force my legs to relax. And I go under.
It’s awful. Water is everywhere and salt makes my nostrils burn. I last all of five seconds before I’m back above the surface, sputtering as I try to get my hair off my face.
But when I finally feel like I can open my eyes, Nate is grinning at me.
“You did it.”
“I did it.”
“Was it fun?”
“Fuck no.” I rub my eyes. “Everything burns now. And my hair is so sticky. Can we be done? I might be done.”
“You didn’t even have to use the safe word,” he says with a laugh. “I’m proud of you.”
It only gets worse when I’m out of the ocean. Even though it’s the middle of summer, the air is still cold on my body, and the minimal fabric of my swimsuit is shoved into places where the sun doesn’t shine.
“I need to dry off,” I mutter the second we’re on shore. I do my best to make sure my hair and body aren’t dripping before I get under my umbrella. I only feel marginally better when my hair is no longer soaking wet.
We spend some time air-drying while Nate catches me up on all that I missed while I was stressed with wedding planning. Eventually, both of us tug our clothes on and get ready to leave the beach.
“This wasn’t so bad,” I say. “I can’t believe I’m saying that about a beach, of all things.”
“So, do you like the water now?”
“That’s a stretch. But the vibeisnice.”
The sun is setting behind us, and I know we need to head back to the boat, but I’m happy to stay alone with him just a little longer.
We gather our things and get ready to leave after a few minutes of silence.
“We could walk along the beach for a little bit,” I offer.
“Who are you?”
“A changed woman. I just had to fall off the dock.”
He shakes his head. “Don’t remind me about that. I’m gonna have nightmares.”
“Well, you saved me. I like to think of it as the reason you got so ripped. I mean,damn, what are you eating to get this?” I jab a knuckle into his abs and he yelps.
“Hey! Don’t fondle.”
I raise an eyebrow. “That was a bit of an overreaction there. Don’t tell me you’re still?—”
“Shut up, berry. Shut up right now.”
“Ticklish.”
He knows what I’m about to do and he tears himself away from me. I get one swipe in and he lets out a guffaw so loud that people turn to look.
