“Adelia.” Tear-filled eyes met mine. Blurred through the hot drops rolling down my cheeks in a constant stream.
“It’s okay,” my friend said, helping me to stand and wrapping a towel around my aching body.
The scent of purloe assaulted my senses, and I turned to find Shade in the doorway. The smoke always curling around his skin vibrated in shimmering agitation, and he gripped the frame so tightly the patterned marks on his fingers lightened. His presence and the comforting purloe scent always surrounding him soothed the aching in my chest and replaced it with an ache for him, a craving for the safety he offered me.
Those gray eyes locked onto mine, and there was anger in them. Anger and compassion and devastation. I shuffled closer until the barest sliver of air separated us.
Still, Shade didn’t move, keeping an iron grip of the frame.
“Please.” The pained beg escaped my lips on a shaky exhale. I clenched my jaw, holding back the emotions threatening to overwhelm me entirely.
I needed his comfort more than anything, for him to hold me in his arms and tell me everything was going to be okay. Even if it was a lie.
Shade leaned forward until his forehead touched mine, and that single touch was enough to keep the flashbacks at bay.
“Please, hold me,” I whispered.
Whatever he heard in my voice, snapped his control, and those strong arms wrapped around me, holding me close and encompassing me in warmth and safety and strength.
“I’m here,” he murmured in my ear. “I’m always here.”
He took me into the large closet holding my clothes, leading me past the elegant gowns and extravagant day dresses to the plain brown tunics I’d worn while serving ale. Somehow, he knew I wouldn’t stand to be in those clothes now, not the onesthe king had commissioned for me, not after what Terym had done.
Shade slowly lowered me to the floor, then helped me dress. Keeping his eyes averted, he held my undergarments out to step into, then the worn leather pants. He tugged my shirt over my head, careful to keep it clear of my bruised face. Then he cupped my cheek in his warm palm.
“I am with you, my Solis. Always.”
“What does that mean? Solis?” I had been too nervous to ask before, worried what it might mean for us, but I suddenly couldn’t stand not knowing, and after whathe’ddone, I regretted every question I left unasked and every confession I held back.
“It means radiant sun. That’s what you are, Adelia, my light after so many years in the dark.”
My stomach came alive, the hummingbird flying faster than ever before. He felt everything I did. It didn’t matter if we were doomed for destruction. If my recent altercation with the king was anything to go by, we were stronger together. I wouldn’t keep fighting this—not anymore.
His confession armed me with determination for what I needed to do next. I donned my own clothes as if they were the gleaming armor of Torglea’s soldiers, and strode from the closet of pretentious gowns with Shade at my side.
Wista met us at the long table, afternoon sun streaming through the window and shooting colorful reflections along the white walls.
“Adelia.” Her voice was thick with emotion, tears still brimmed her eyes, and she wrung her hands in her skirts. “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have left you alone with him. I should have stayed closer so I could hear.”
I shook my head, hauling her into a tight hug. “No, there was nothing you could have done to prevent it. Please don’t blame yourself.”
She sniffled, and I hugged her tighter. I was so grateful for her friendship, I wouldn’t let her blame herself when nothing could have stopped the king. Not when I suspected this was what he always wanted, what poor Queen Jade had likely endured for years before her death.
When we broke apart, Wista wiped her escaping tears and cleared her throat. Then she prepared a cup of steaming tea—the contraceptive tea. It was sweeter than her healing tea, which also waited for me.
“Can you get Eleanor? And meet us in the library?” I asked after I downed both cups.
“Are you sure you want her to see you like this?”
I nodded. Even though I had been adamant before, it was time to be honest with her. Things had escalated to a dangerous level, and we all needed to get out.
“You don’t want me to bring her here?” she asked.
“I need to get out of these rooms.” Even now, restlessness itched under my skin, the birds decorating the walls closing in on me. I needed to be free from the king’s influence for this conversation.
“Very well. Will you be all right going to the library by yourself?” Her eyes flicked to Shade, who still hovered beside me. We all knew he would have to return to the lamp for the journey to the library, but I would keep the lamp in my hand the entire way.
“He’ll be with me,” I murmured.
