“Wista?” I croaked, and she paused in her task to look at me in concern. “The contraceptive tea, can you bring it to me when … when it’s done?”
Her eyes glistened, and she wrapped an arm around my shoulders in comfort. “Of course,” she whispered.
Even if I prevented pregnancy, I would still have to go through with it, have sex with the king. The thought sent another wave of nausea through me.
Gods, I should have listened to Shade. We should have gotten out. Risked running away.Something.
Wista squeezed my shoulder again, stopping the impending attack. I focused on Eleanor’s portrait, the slight tilt to her lips as she tried to hide her grin. Harkin had done his best to make her laugh the entire time she’d sat for it.
She was why I had to push through the awful sensation in my stomach.
Eleanor.
My baby sister, who was kind and sweet andinnocent.Not like me, blood stained my hands and blackness marred my soul.
Eleanor didn’t deserve the king’s wrath, but I would endure it. For her.
Wista pulled the final pin free, and I finally faced my reflection. The stress of the day and my sleepless night evident in my sunken eyes and gaunt face. Only wishful thinking had me believing it would turn the king off.
It wouldn’t deter him. Nothing would. Not now that I was so entirely within his grasp.
I caught Wista’s eye again, then glanced to the black lamp resting on the small nightstand. If only I could see him again before I faced the king. No matter what happened tonight, I would have Wista and Shade afterward—if he was willing to forgive me.
Despite our argument, I did what I promised and placed the lamp as close to the bed as I could so I could reach him if I needed to. Even the small knife was tucked under the pillow closest.
The booming knocks on the door were the final bells before my execution. Without waiting for a response, Terym opened the door and stepped into the room. His formal navy tunic was disheveled, the top few buttons undone, and his usually neat hair was ruffled, as if he had run his hands through it multiple times.
My heart pounded against my ribs, like it would beat right out of my chest or pump me away from this horrid situation.
“Thank you, Wisstarrri. She looks lovely.” The king’s voice slurred, he had clearly drunk more in the minutes since we parted.
Wista hurried to the door, offering me a reassuring nod once out of the king’s line of sight. Then the door closed with a soft click, locking me alone with something worse than a demon.
Chapter 27
We stood for several heartbeats. Terym watched me, and I watched him, an oppressive weight settling over me, as if the entire castle waited with bated breath. Then Terym loosened the laces on his pants. “I don’t wish to hurt you, my dear. Come.”
He snapped his fingers. What was I? Afuckingdog?
I glanced at Shade’s lamp when I rose, the urge to run to him strong. I just hoped he couldn’t hear what happened next, not what would likely be the worst moment of my life.
No longer seated, Terym took in the full effect of my nightdress and how much it didn’t cover. His oily gaze roamed over me, leaving me feeling so dirty I wasn’t sure a bath would ever cleanse his scrutiny from my skin. It was nothing like how Shade looked at me; he made me feel coveted, cherished,seen.
I didn’t move closer, and the king released an inpatient snarl, stalking toward me. He gripped my forearms and dragged me to the bed, throwing me onto the clean sheets. “What have I said about defying me?”
“W-wait,” I choked out, scrambling back as a familiar tightening pulled at my chest. “I don’t—I can’t—Please.” I couldn’t find the words, couldn’t voice my refusal. Fear cloyed on my tongue, leaving a bitter taste in my mouth. I despised it. Despised how weak this man made me.
He paused, cold blue eyes dilating, and a manic grin spread across his lips. “I like you begging. I think I’ll like your screams even more.”
Bile resurfaced, and it took everything in me to force it down as icy fear cooled my veins, freezing me in place. The king shucked his pants, and before I knew what was happening, he had gripped my ankles and yanked me down the bed. I yelped when he pushed my legs apart and climbed atop me.
It all happened so fast.
One minute I was leaning against the headboard, the next I was trapped beneath him, his sour breath suffocating.
I turned my face away, avoiding those chilling eyes. Terym tsked, gripping my cheeks and forcing me to face him. He glared in disapproval, sending me back to hard blows and gasping breaths.
“I’m going to enjoy this. With any luck, I’ll make your cunt bleed.”
