Relief flooded me, and I relaxed back against the pillows. “Then how did you hear me sing?”
“I think because you wanted me to.”
We were silent for a moment, letting everything those words implied settle between us. His eyes roved over me, tightening when he took in the dark bruises. “Why did he do it?”
Voicing it would make it real, and I wasn’t sure I was ready for that. I wanted to luxuriate in this small moment with Shade, pretend the world outside these doors didn’t exist, but I couldn’t do that. Eleanor was counting on me, and to keep her protected, I needed to find a way to escape.
“Terym, he—” I swallowed thickly, trying to find the right words. To admit how severely I destroyed my own path. “He ordered me to marry him and didn’t take it well when I told him no.”
Shade went still, even his swirling smoke didn’t move as pained eyes searched mine. “Will you marry him?”
“Not if I can help it.” I would need to play my part; I couldn’t risk Eleanor being hurt. “He wasn’t worried about the wishes; he implied that my … virginity didn’t have a bearing on them.”
A pained growl escaped him at my words. The sound so anguished it took me by surprise, shooting straight to my heart, piercing through my carefully crafted walls to the soft center within. He leaned his forehead onto our joined hands. “Use a wish. Let me protect you.”
“Do I have to remain a virgin?” The momentary hope filling my chest diminished when Shade’s agonized eyes met mine, the swirling silver the brightest I had seen from him. The smoke surrounding his body took up agitated movements, their previous stillness forgotten.
“Virtue is only a requirement of the initial retrieval of the lamp. Using them could last a lifetime if you wanted them to.” His words were so quiet I struggled to hear them, the pain coating them evident. It was clear he hated the stipulation, that it endangered me.
“But they must be tangible? And I must be in the sun to make them?” If I could find a way outside, even with my guard, I could make a wish to get away, to take Eleanor away.
“Only at its highest point does the sun provide enough energy from Vanimalis to grant a wish.”
“Could I wish us away? Me and Eleanor?”
He tilted his head slightly as he considered this. “If I were touching you both, I could fly you a distance. But I couldn’t simply make you disappear in one place and reappear in another.”
“What about the king’s power, could I remove him from the throne?”
Shade shook his head. “It would involve manipulation of an entire kingdom’s people, changing minds and laws. It’s not possible.”
Flying away was the best option. I just had to get Eleanor and be outside, in the middle of the day, without the king knowing.
“I can get you out.”
I was shaking my head before he finished speaking. “I can’t leave without my sister, but we’ll find a way. Until then, I have to go along with the king.”
Shade closed his eyes for a moment, and my heart shuddered. This hurt him. We could never happen, not with my responsibilities bearing down on me, but I couldn’t stand hurting him like this. When they opened again, there was no judgment there. Only clear understanding.
“I can still protect you. Don’t send me back into the lamp, and I can stop him from hurting you again.”
So many questions filled my mind at his declaration. I didn’t voice any of them, didn’t want to ruin this moment of closeness between us.
“If he orders me …” The rest of my sentence hung unsaid between us. He knew I would have to do it. It was clear he suspected more to my reasoning for protecting Eleanor, more than just sisterly protection.
“Then keep the lamp close. If you’re in danger, release me.” His eyes pierced mine, and I couldn’t deny him. Not this. Not when I couldn’t give him anything else.
“I’ll do what I can.”
His shoulders loosened, and I just hoped this promise would be easier to keep than the last one I made.
The storm in his eyes calmed, and I leaned closer to him. After the past day, I was drained, with no energy left to fight the attraction always consuming me when it came to Shade.
He didn’t pull away. We were so close our breaths intermingled in the air between us. I inhaled his intoxicating scent, so strong with our proximity, it was all I wanted to breathe for the rest of my life.
Gods, I wanted him closer. I wanted to touch him.Kiss him.
I shouldn’t, it would only hurt us both, but I couldn’t resist temptation. Not today.
