Six
When Ted had told me he wouldn’t be joining me on the break I’d booked in Midwinter, I was disappointed, but not that bothered. A week by myself in a cottage in the countryside, close enough to a town that I wouldn’t feel isolated, wouldn’t be that bad. It might give me the opportunity to sort myself out and decide what I wanted. It might even help me think of new ways to improve my relationship with Ted. Or so I had convinced myself.
But after our subsequent break up, what I was facing was a week alone. And somehow that was different. A far more daunting prospect. Nonetheless, I had been determined to go. Partly because, as a last-minute booking, there would not be a refund, and partly because … well, because I couldn’t stop thinking about Sam.
I had no idea if he still lived in Fairlight Bay. No clue as to whether or not he had a girlfriend – or a wife. I hadn’t looked at his social media for years, having realised that to do so was a self-inflicted wound. And self-harm was something I would avoid at all cost.
Erin, on the other hand, decided we should look him up, which was the first thing she said when she arrived at my door, takeaway in one hand, wine bottle in the other.
‘Now that you and Ted are over, let’s see if Sam is available. We’ll start with social media, but if that doesn’t give us any answers, I could call a colleague in the Fairlight Bay force if you like. Strictly speaking, we’re not supposed to use any information, systems, or services, for personal purposes, but lots of officers do, and it would only be a friendly chat.’
‘Erin! No. I would hate it if someone did that to me. Social media’s a different thing. I’m okay with searching that because it’s open to the public. Although I’m not sure if I want to.’
She tutted and rolled her eyes. ‘We both know that’s a lie.’
She was right, of course, as always, and once we’d eaten, we had settled ourselves on the sofa, with my laptop open on the coffee table in front of us.
‘I suppose it would be good to see what he looks like now,’ I said. ‘Just in case I bump into him somewhere and I don’t recognise him.’
Erin laughed at that. ‘Yeah. Because he’ll have changed so much in ten years.’
‘He might have. Ten years is a long time.’
‘You look the same as you did ten years ago. A couple of wrinkles here and there but other than that.’ She raised her arms to defend herself from the cushion I’d hit her with.
‘Watch it,’ I warned.
She pointed her forefinger back at herself. ‘Police officer here. You’re the one who should watch it. Assaulting an officer is a criminal offence.’
I gave her a nudge and she nudged me back and then we grinned at one another.
‘Okay. Let’s do this,’ I said, picking up my glass and taking a long gulp of my orange juice before typing Sam’s full name into the search bar.
Erin knocked back half of her glass of wine and made a satisfied, ‘Ahhh’ sound.
‘Nectar of the gods,’ she said. ‘Wow. Talking of gods, is that him? I’d forgotten he looked that good.’
We exchanged glances and then both leant forward and peered at the screen.
‘So had I,’ I said, unable to keep the wistful tone from my voice. It had been several years since I’d seen his photo.
‘Have you noticed, he’s the opposite of Ted?’ Erin pointed out.
‘Uh-huh,’ I agreed, as heat rushed through my body.
How could just a photo of the man have this much of an effect on me?
‘And not merely in looks,’ I eventually added. ‘Unless he’s changed. Ted’s a workaholic and loves his job. Sam believed work was a necessary evil. Although he was only nineteen when we … when I knew him, so maybe that’s different now.’
They were definitely opposites.
Ted had close-cropped fair hair, blue eyes and was well-groomed. He liked the things that money could buy.
Sam had – and judging from the photos we were looking at, still had – wild, dark hair, dark eyes, tanned skin, and now a hint of stubble on his firm jaw. When we had spent that week together, Sam had lived in jeans and T-shirts, or shorts during the long, hot days of July. And money meant little to him in those days. Happiness and having fun were all that mattered.
Ted wasn’t overly romantic. Sam had been the most romantic man I’d ever met.
Ted was good in bed. Sam had been amazing. But I was eighteen at the time and Sam was the first man I’d had sex with, so maybe I remembered it as better than it was.
