I’m not sure why I was so reluctant to tell Mum how I felt. Perhaps, because I knew she had problems of her own. I’d heard my parents arguing a few times over the years, but after that holiday, when we moved to Aberdeen, the rows grew more frequent. Mum didn’t really want to leave Kingston upon Thames, but, as she told me after they’d divorced, she had thought that moving there with Dad might be the only way to save their marriage. Obviously, that hadn’t worked.
I’d left for uni in Leeds a few weeks later, so I was able to keep my heartbreak to myself. Well, myself and Erin. I’m not sure how I would’ve coped without all those long chats with my best friend.
‘Do you regret marrying Dad?’ I asked Mum now.
Her shocked expression was its own reply. ‘Never. If I hadn’t married him, I wouldn’t have had you. And you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, my darling.’
I smiled at her. ‘Apart from meeting Chris.’
She grinned and winked. ‘He comes a close second.’
I handed her a cup of tea and sat on the chair opposite with my own cup.
‘Where’s your lunch?’ she asked as she bit into her tuna sandwich.
I shrugged. ‘I forgot it this morning. But I’m not hungry.’
‘You’ve got to eat, Lucy. Why don’t you nip out and get something? No wait. I’ve got a better idea. Take the afternoon off. I know you won’t have packed yet. And you’re leaving tomorrow, aren’t you?’
‘You’re correct on both counts?’ I grinned. ‘But are you sure? I’ll be away for a week and I didn’t give you much notice. Don’t you want me to stay and help you today?’
‘We’re not rushed off our feet in the shop, are we? And Chris will help me with all the online orders, so there’s no need for you to worry about those. No. You go, my darling. And have a wonderful time.’
I took a few gulps of my tea and then beamed at her as I got to my feet.
‘Well if you’re sure. Thanks, Mum. You’re the best.’ I dashed to the sink, washed up my cup, and left it to drain on the plastic drip tray on the counter. ‘You can call me if you need anything. You know that, don’t you?’
Mum nodded and smiled. ‘And the same goes for you. Call me if you want to chat.’
I kissed her on the cheek, grabbed my raincoat from the rack and headed towards the door. It had rained for most of the week and my faux fur jacket had got drenched the day before.
‘I will, Mum. Bye. Hope you have a good week.’
‘And you, my darling. Oh. And if you bump into that handsome young man, say hello from me.’
I stopped in my tracks and spun round, my voice cracking as I spoke.
‘Which handsome young man?’
‘Sam,’ she said, her gaze fixed on the last piece of her sandwich. ‘That was his name, wasn’t it?’
I swallowed the lump in my throat, and squeaked, ‘Sam?’ I coughed and took a quick breath to compose myself. ‘Oh. The holiday fling, you mean. I’m not sure I’d even recognise him. Bye. Love you.’
I raced out of the room, and the shop, before either of us could say anything more.
Had Mum known all these years, how I’d felt about Sam?
‘Of course she has,’ Erin said, when I called and told her about the conversation, and that I’d got the afternoon off.
I’d already called her first thing that morning to tell her Ted and I had broken up. She’d listened intently, and then offered to pop round that evening with a takeaway and some wine. I’d told her I couldn’t drink because I’d be driving down to Midwinter the following day, to which she had replied, ‘That’s fine. More wine for me.’
‘Are you still coming round this evening?’ I checked.
‘Absolutely. I might be a little late though. We’re a bit busy at the moment.’
‘Those pesky criminals,’ I joked. ‘Sorry. I know murder isn’t funny. I’m in a strange mood.’
‘Don’t worry about it. Laughter helps to keep us sane. It’s a crazy world out there. See you around seven.’
