24.
Antlers, angel wings, snowberries and pretty things
Plum’s Deck Gallery turns out to have that elusive ‘something’ every retail outlet aspires to. As soon as I head off to look around I’m overtaken by a compulsion to buy every item in the place, and the others are the same. There are some really cute shopping baskets that look like lobster pots to put things in before you pay, and we fill them to overflowing and then some. The gallery owner, Plum, is there at the till, her dark curls caught up into a ponytail, her paint spattered overalls a lot like her pictures of the sea. She must have a really good eye, because I’m picking up everything from lovely little hand painted signs that say quirky things likecactus, to amazing silk scarves that are just so perfect for Miranda I have to get two, and that’s before we get to the jewellery and the sea glass and the cute toys.
Once our shopping frenzy – for once that’snotme exaggerating – is over we all head out for drinks on the deck. Toasting our toes under a pergola covered in pink, blue and orange fairy lights, warmed by the glow of log braziers, sipping from huge mugs of hot chocolate topped with lashings of squirty cream, listening to the distant rush of the waves on the beach far below. Even with the minor hiccup of Tarkie and Tansy almost fighting to the death over the last iced friendship biscuit they were both too full to eat, and Oscar’s meltdown when he dropped his toffee apple off the edge of the deck, as evenings go, they don’t come much better. By the time we’re winding our way back down to the cars again Harriet’s fast asleep, and Oscar’s nodding too.
Fliss unlocks the car, and starts to load Oscar into the back, and I’m at the other door with Bill looking on, happily showing off how my child skills have improved these last few days. I get Harriet all the way into her car seat, still asleep, before I hit a hitch and step back from the car.
‘Okay, you’ll have to take it from here, Fliss.’
Bill leans in front of me, pulls on the straps and fiddles with the clip. ‘Fine, she’s all done and ready to go.’ A second later he’s out of the car again unhooking the bags from the pushchair. One nudge of his knee, that’s folded to nothing, and he sweeps it into the boot.
I’m standing on the car park gravel, blinking at him. ‘How the hell did you do that?’ Quite apart from the car seat, believe me, I know. Unless you’re a fully paid up member of the ‘wrecked and desperate parent’ brigade, or you’ve got your Norland Nannies certificate, these pushchairs are damn near impossible to collapse, because that’s how they’re designed. I’ve been there, done that, got the hopeless auntie badges to prove it. I’ve tried, sometimes for ages, and Fliss has always had to come and take over in the end.
Bill gives a shrug. ‘It’s a man thing, Ivy, anything with moving parts, the instructions are pre-programmed into our DNA.’
‘Really.’ I’m pleased Merwyn is here because it’s great to have someone to exchange WTF? eye rolls with. I’m also quite pleased to say in the battle between me and my sea glass, I managed not to share how much like total Bill bollocks that sounded, although truly,someoneneeds to tell him when he sounds so up himself.
‘Anyway …’ He swings the second pushchair into the boot and closes the lid in one fluid movement. ‘… who’s for walking back along the beach?’
Seeing as Libby and her kids are already back in their car, and Fliss is dangling her car keys about to drive her children home, this is what Tarkie would call ‘a well stupid’ question. But I keep that to myself too. ‘The water’s splashing onto the promenade, there’s hardly any beach left to walk on – somehow I don’t think so.’
It’s the perfect excuse. There’s no way I want to walk back on my own with Bill. Why? Well, knowing what’s there and that I’ll never have it, for one. It’s a lot like pressing your nose up against the window and drooling over the strawberry tarts when the cake shop’s closed. On balance, you save yourself a lot of pain if you walk by on the other side of the road and don’t look in the first place. And that’s before we get to the whole thing about my out of control self expression. Until I’m sure how that’s going, it’s too dangerous to take the risk. I know my moments of Will-lust were a complete misplaced fantasy from years ago, but blurting anything about it would be catastrophic. If it accidentally came out, that would be Libby’s Insta Christmas up the spout. She’d be on her own, I’d have to leave for London straight away.
The sound that Bill lets out sounds very close to a laugh. ‘That was four hours ago, Ivy, that’s the thing with the tide, it goes in and out. The sea’s miles away now.’
It’s a good job I can think on my feet. ‘In any case, I really need to go in the car with Fliss.’
Fliss is looking at me strangely. ‘We love you very much Aunty Ivy, but we drove all the way from London, I think we can manage half a mile back to the castle.’ Whose side is she on here? ‘How many times in your life have you had the chance of a moonlight walk along a beach?’
She’s got a point. Thinking back to Ibiza with George it was more about crawling back to the hotel at dawn. And then I remember. ‘Merwyn and I have had moonlight walks together most evenings since we arrived. And the moon was bigger then too.’ Merwyn’s sitting up very straight, holding up his paw, and he lets out the tiniest whine when he hears the ‘w’ word.
Bill’s rubbing his hands. ‘In that case, what are we waiting for, if you’re taking him out later, we might as well all walk back now.’ He hesitates for a second. Then he does the unthinkable, and talks to the dog. ‘What do you say, Merwyn?’
Merwyn looks from Bill to me, and back again. Thenhedoes the unthinkable too, and barks in reply.
Fliss laughs, climbs into the driver’s seat. ‘I think you got your answer there, we’ll see you back at the castle in fifteen.’
‘Fuck.’ This time the sea glass came off best.
‘This way to the beach.’ The way Bill’s got his arm out, guiding me down the steps and out onto the sand, I’m half way into his coat already. ‘Is everything okay?’
It’s not, actually, it couldn’t be more crap. I avoid being on my own with Bill in the light for more than a few seconds. Being alone with him in the dark, all the way back to the castle, there’s so much potential for me to mess up it’s about as comfortable as walking into a minefield blindfold. ‘I’ve got a ton of shopping in my backpack. Apart from that, we’re all good, couldn’t be better thanks.’ And ‘yay’ to that lie. I bend down and let Merwyn off the lead, and he dashes off along the sand chasing shadows in the half light.
Considering the length of his legs, Bill’s walking super-slowly. I’m doing bursts of breathless running as my feet sink into the soft sand, then turning to wait for him. Which is fine, apart from having to watch him come towards me. Put it this way. Somehow the moon shadows on his face make him even more edible than usual. Which is a thought that makes me feel a lot more like Miranda than myself.
‘I can carry your bag if you’d like? I saw you loading up with a heap of mini Svens back there.’
‘It was all very moreish, it’s lucky I got out before I bought a ten foot high sea scape.’ My backpack is totally rammed, but I’m puzzled. ‘How do you know about Sven?’
‘Doesn’t everyone know about Sven?’
‘Seeing he’s a cartoon reindeer, probably only if they’ve seenFrozen.’
He gives a shrug and pulls a face. ‘I may have watched it once or twice.’
Okay, I’ll admit. I’m picking my jaw up off the floor here because he just doesn’t seem the type. ‘Somehow that’ssounexpected it makes you seem way more endearing and less bad tempered, after all.’Sea glass alert!
