“So, Lawson,” Marigold tries again. “Is everything ready for the start of school?”
“Not quite,” Lawson answers, pouring water into his glass and then my own. “But there’s not much left to do.”
“I bet Wendy’s excited for her final year,” Ash says, the blonde man’s free hand resting on the back of Jackson’s chair beside him. Remi is sitting nearby, too, watching the conversation as he eats his pasta, the simultaneous signing from several occupants of the table like second nature. Even Colton and Noah are present for dinner, the pair situated on the other side of Ash.
Lawson’s smile is slight. “She is. Yeah.”
Marigold’s expression softens. I have no doubt she understands Lawson’s conflicting emotions over his daughter growing up. My chest aches again at the thought, Lawson’s words about Peter losing everyone he loved still fresh in my mind.
God.No wonder Lawson was so upset with me for leaving. I was the one person he could depend on. The one who promised I’d never go.
And I did just that.
I give the man’s leg a squeeze under the table, feeling like no apology will ever be enough. His eyes meet mine, questioning, but I only send him a smile, not about to dredge up our history right here at the Darling Ranch dinner table.
Colton’s voice breaks through the quiet. “Law, think you’ll try dating again now that you’re single?”
I swear my heart plain stops. Time does, too. A few wide eyes turn Colton’s way, Remi’s included. Other gazes dart from me to Lawson. Lawson himself is sitting frozen with his forkful of pasta halfway to his mouth.
“Colt,” Noah says quietly from beside his boyfriend.
Colton looks from Noah back to Lawson. “What? Wendy would understand. Wouldn’t she?”
“Uh,” Lawson says, lowering his fork to his plate. “Wendy would be fine with it, I’m sure. But… No, that’s not something I want.”
My inhale is short but sharp, cutting through me like glass. I pull my hand off Lawson’s leg, feeling eyes on me. I don’t meet a single one, my entire focus on appearing as impassive as I can.
In my periphery, I can see Remi’s gaze on his oldest brother.
Marigold makes a curious sound. “Lawson, dear…”
“It’s my choice,” Lawson says, his voice firm. “I know what I need to be happy. No one knows that better than me.”
“You’re right,” his mother says, her tone conciliatory but sad.
Noah whispers something to Colton, who doesn’t seem to understand why his question was so loaded.
And me?
I’m fairly certain that future I’d been envisioning, the one where Lawson and I were finally more than friends, just got shattered to dust alongside the shredded remains of my heart.
Chapter 23
Lawson
The remainder of dinner is quiet.
The last of the ranchers start dispersing before long, heading home after a busy day of work. Jackson, Remi, and my mom bring dishes and silverware into the kitchen to be cleaned. Beside me, Oakley is eerily still.
“All right?” I ask him, keeping my voice low.
He nods in a sharp jerk that doesn’t reassure me at all.
I feel bad for causing the mood to drop after shutting down conversation about my love life, but, frankly, it’s not something I want to discuss with my family right now. Especially considering I haven’t had the chance to discuss it with the one person it matters most to.
I make to grab our plates, but Ash beats me to it. “Go on,” he says, canting his head toward the exit. “There are plenty of us to clean up.”
“You’re not supposed to,” I point out, knowing Ash is officially off the clock at this point in the day.
