I pull in a shallow breath, eyes closing for a moment as I collect my wits. Slowly, I lift my arm and roll to my back, giving the man some space. Without missing a beat, he turns with me, shifting to his other side and attaching to mine, a hand settling just beneath my chest on my ribcage.
Fuck.
He’s still dead to the world, his breaths coming evenly, his hand warm and his proximity the most vicious sort of pleasure. It’s not that Lawson and I are never close. We hug plenty,have cuddled before when one or both of us were upset. Hell, I’ve been inside the man, a recent development I’m still half convinced was a dream.
But for all the years we’ve known one another, slept at each other’s houses, gone camping even, I’ve never once woken up tothis.
Is it so wrong to want to pretend it could mean something? At least for a little while?
The first glimpse of sun is lighting the sky a gentle pink through the tiny tent window when Lawson stirs. He inhales deeply, his face rubbing against my chest before his fingers tighten in surprise, the man himself stilling.
He draws back, looking sleep-hazy and impossibly beautiful, his low voice a rumble. “Sorry.”
“It’s fine,” I assure him, missing his touch the moment he leans away and chastising myself for it. “Get enough sleep?”
“It’ll do.”
A door opens nearby, the gentle slam of wood against wood preceding soft chatter. Looks like the campsite is waking.
Lawson stretches with a groan, and I busy myself with finding new clothes for the day. He barely glances at me as I hastily kick off my shorts and underwear, replacing them just as swiftly.
I understand now why it never seemed like Lawson was interested in anybody prior to his relationship with Laura. Hewasn’t. At least, not in a physical sense.
I, on the other hand, have a damn hard time looking away from Lawson as he swaps out his own clothes. Every inch of the man is one I want to touch, perilous as that journey would be for my heart. And my sanity.
I’m already in too deep. I know I am.
I tug on a shirt as Lawson zips up his bag. He looks over at me. “Ready?”
Nodding, I open up our tent, and Lawson and I head out. After breakfast at the camp’s mess hall, the group of kids splits into two groups: those who want to hike and those who want to swim. Lawson and I are paired with the swimming group, so we change into our trunks and put on sunscreen before heading with the kids out to the lake. There’s a massive floating trampoline not far from shore, a slide off one end and a ladder up another.
The teens waste no time getting into the water, apart from a few who stay on shore, looking as if they’re readying to sunbathe. Wendy is among those already climbing onto the trampoline, her friend Chloe with her.
I eye Lawson, who’s kicking out of his sandals. “Race you?”
“Where?” he asks slowly, when it clicks. “You’re not getting onthat, are you?”
I bounce my eyebrows before taking off. Lawson curses behind me, the sound of his feet squeaking through sand following me as I laugh. The water slows me down, chilling me in an instant, but I power through, heading straightaway for the floating trampoline up ahead. I let out the tiniest squeak when the water gets deep enough to cover my crotch.Fuck,that iscold. Soon enough, my shoulders join the rest of my body under the surface.
Once I reach the ladder, I heft myself up, stopping only long enough to find Lawson in the water behind me. “Beat you.”
“You’re a child,” he mutters, even as a smile lifts the corner of his lips.
Sending him a wink, I finish climbing up onto the float, plot my path, and take off running. A couple of the kids laugh as I pass, but I don’t worry about whether or not I’m winning coolpoints. I get a good bounce going at the end of the trampoline, forward flip through the air, and land in the water with a splash.
When I surface, there’s some clapping. Wendy shakes her head, an amused smile on her face. Lawson is swimming toward me.
“How’d I do?” I ask him.
“You realize you’re forty-three years old, right?”
“Uh-huh. Pretty good for an old guy, don’tcha think?”
“Jesus,” Lawson mumbles, slowing his forward paddle as he reaches me. “You’re notold. Because if you are, that means I am, and, frankly, I’m not ready.”
“You’re pretty spry still,” I assure him, my mind flashing to Lawson kneeling on my bedroom floor. Him bending over my kitchen countertop.Christ. His leg bent up on my bed as I railed him for damn near an hour. I clear my throat, my arms keeping me afloat in the deep water. “We can get old together, how about that?”
I realize how my words sound the second they leave my mouth, but Lawson gets an almost wistful look on his face. “You said something like that to me before. When we were kids. You said growing old wouldn’t mean we’d grow apart.”
