His expression is grudgingly amused. It shifts, however, to a sort of melancholy that makes my chest ache.
Lawson steps out of the shower ahead of me, grabbing a towel from the bar. I hastily finish rinsing off before following after him. He’s quiet all the way back to my room, the towel wrapped around his waist as he sits at the edge of my bed, only a couple feet away from the mess I’ll need to clean up later.
I sit beside him, damp hair dripping down my neck. “Do you wanna talk about it?”
“We just did.”
It’s all I can do not to flick the man’s forehead.
“Sure,” I say slowly. “But maybe it’d help to air whatever you’re feeling? To work through it all. With me or…even a professional.”
He’s silent for a beat. “You think me figuring out I’m gay after having been married to a woman most of my life is going to lead to an emotional fallout.”
Christ, this man.
“Maybe?” I admit. “I don’t know. This can’t be easy for you.”
“It’s not, and it is,” he says, leaning forward, his elbows on his knees. I have the urge to card my fingers through his hair but hold myself back. “I don’t like realizing I should have listened harder to thatnot rightfeeling when it came to intimacy with Laura. But… It’s hard to describe. I didn’t hate it at the time, at least not in the beginning. It just wasn’t…much of anything. And I thought that meant it was ameproblem. Like maybe sex for me wasn’t a big deal.”
He blows out a breath, lost in thought for a moment.
“But knowing what I do now…that sex can feel like that? Natural andright? Damn it, Oakley. It’s like this door is opened up I never even saw before. I’mrelieved. Because I finally have answers to some of those questions I’ve been asking myself for so very long. Thank you for giving me that.”
I nod, all I can do.
Lawson lets out another breath, shifting back to rest his elbows on the bed. It’s a battle not to trace his skin with my gaze. Not to let my eyes wander down to the towel wrapped so precariously around his hips. “Maybe I should talk to someone,” he says at last. “But… I don’t want to think about any of it right now.” His head rolls in my direction, gaze intent in a way that has my pulse jumping. “Can I try something?”
“I… Sure?”
Lawson leans toward me, tugging the end of my towel loose. My heart races, my mouth running dry as Lawson stares down at my dick. It twitches to life, and he sucks in a shallow breath, his fingers skating over the length of it before wrapping around me in a loose fist.
Ah, fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
“Law?” I ask, my voice garbled.
He pumps me once, twice, seemingly transfixed by the motion of his hand on my dick. “Maybe it’s selfish to ask,” he finally says, thumb rolling over my crown. “Butfuck, Oak. Make me feel that again?”
I squeeze my eyes shut, all of my baser instincts battling with the rationale I’m trying so desperately to hold on to. It was supposed to be one time.One time.
But how can I possibly tell this man no? How can I walk away when he’s asking me to make him feel good?
Lawson lets go of my dick, scooting back onto the bed and lying down. He holds my eye as he drags his towel off his hips, gifting me with a view of his soft cock before he’s rolling onto his stomach, his ass offered in clear invitation. I damn near swallow my tongue.
My hand moves as if it has a mind of its own, skating along Lawson’s backside, over warm skin that’s not quite rough but not perfectly smooth, either. Lawson cants his hips up, an anticipatory catch in his breath as he spreads his legs wider.
“You’re not too sore?” I ask, my words coming out as if dragged across hot coals.
“Not at all.”
I ease out a breath, knowing there’s no way I’m going to refuse this man. Shifting, I grab the lube resting beside my pillow and oil up my fingers. My heart feels as if it might just run off.
Lawson draws his leg upwards as I settle behind him, opening himself up for me. The first touch of my fingers has him sighing in relief. I run dry knuckles featherlight across his skin, waking up nerve endings before I trail oil-wet fingers over and around his hole. One slips inside of him easily, the man still relaxed from earlier and eager, apparently, for more.
“You like this?” I ask, knowing he never had another’s hand inside him before today.
“I do. You don’t mind it?”
“I like it quite a lot,” I tell him truthfully, adding another finger and working him open. “Knowing I’m making someone feel good? I could keep at it all day.”
