She sits and makes herself at home on my bed. “Going into the clubhouse of those motherfuckers must have been terrifying.” She shudders. “Girl, I have no idea how you had the guts to do that. Did you get hurt?”
“Bruised ribs.”
She nods. “So that’s why Freak told you to go see Bronwyn. I hope she gave you some of the good stuff.”
“I didn’t bother,” I admit.
She turns to face me, hiking her knee up onto the bed. “Trix…” she pauses, then instructs, “girl, look at me.” She waits until I obey. “Freak kicked me out of his room. He didn’t fuck me.”
I force myself to give a nonchalant shrug. “Whether he did or not means nothing to me.”
She stares at me, then scoffs. “Don’t try and kid a kidder. It’s clear you’ve got the hots for him.”
A gasp escapes before I can think of denying it. “Does everyone know? The brothers?” Fuck, they’re probably all laughing at me.
Her shoulders rise then lower. “Not the brothers, they’re dense. Couldn’t suss something like that out, unless you wrote it in neon lights and danced naked on the bar pointing it out.” She laughs at her own exaggeration, then rolls her eyes. “Heaven does, she’s read the signs. Sweetie?” She pauses to circle her finger around her right temple, and chuckles. “She’s as sweet as her name, but clueless, yeah?”
My mouth drops open at her description, and I inadvertently snort. Can’t say she’s not accurate.
“I just wanted to tell you, Freak didn’t want me. I was lying there naked, and girl, I know I ain’t lost my charms, there isn’t normally a man who can resist me. But him? I wasn’t who he wanted me to be.” She grimaces and takes my hand. “Trix, I love you. You’ve always been there for me, taught me the ropes when I came to the club. I know you feel something for him, and I just happen to think he might have similar feelings. But I’m gonna be cruel to be kind. There ain’t no way a brother is going to commit to a club girl, however much of a superwoman you’ve proved to be. It’s just not the way the club works. You’ve got to get him out of your head, or leave.”
She’s being totally honest. Even if my desire for Freak was reciprocated, there’s no way he can act on it, I’ve already come to that conclusion myself. And I can’t leave. Unless… the idea comes to me.Maybe I could go to another chapter of the Kings?I’ve already met a number of the other chapters when they’d helped me when I was running from New York. Yeah, that’s possible. Maybe I’ll speak to Bullseye tomorrow. They’ve got chapters all over. I could go anywhere.
And service new brothers. My mouth twists. Hard to do when the only biker I want to be under is Freak.
I suddenly shudder. One chapter I won’t be returning to is Ohio. In my drugged-up state, Raven’s Crest and its occupantshad freaked me out. Though that was more likely down to me than them.
“You okay?” Star asks, her eyes softening.
I am now I’ve got a plan of sorts. Well, a decision to make. Either stay here and try to rid myself of my stupid feelings for Freak, or start afresh with different Kings.
“I’m okay,” I reply, then add more firmly, “Star, I’ll be fine. Thanks for coming to talk to me.”
Something in my voice must convince her, as she gets up to go, pausing at the door only to say, “Girl, go and get yourself some of those good painkillers Bron dishes out. And something to help you sleep. If you’re anything like me, after the MDMC clubhouse, you’ll have nightmares tonight.”
As she disappears, closing my door behind her, I muse the best remedy for chasing away bad dreams would be to sleep cuddled up with both Ace and Freak, just as we’d done yesterday.
But that’s never going to happen.
At least my tears have stopped, and while I doubt Freak didn’t fuck Star because he had thoughts about me, that vision is at least out of my mind.He’d probably realised Ace needed him more than he needed a release.Yeah, Freak’s a good dad.
Glancing at my phone, I see it’s ten o’clock, normally too early for me to go to sleep. But my crying jag, together with the events of yesterday, has worn me out. As I yawn, I realise how exhausted I feel. Pushing myself up carefully so as not to jostle my ribs and grabbing my toiletry bag, I peek out of my door, making sure there’s no one to see my reddened eyes and blotchy face, then I proceed to the bathroom down the hall. Locking myself in, I shower, clean my teeth, pee, then return to my room.
I ease myself into bed, and am just reaching to turn off the light, when another knock sounds at my door.
For fuck’s sake, go away.
Proving I’ve forgotten to turn the lock again, this time, without even a second knock, the door pushes open. My jaw drops when it’s reveals Freak.
“Ran into Star,” he grunts, offhandedly. “Said you forgot to get these.” He rattles a small bottle of tablets. Then he approaches the bed, his dark eyes burning into me, even as he tosses the medication onto the covers.
My heart’s beating fast as I force myself to stay calm. “What are you doing here, Freak?”
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
FREAK
What am I doing here?It’s a fucking good question, and one I’m asking myself. My conversation with Ace had made me do some self-examination, and some of the answers I’d come up with had found me wanting. If Trixie were anyone other than a club girl, I wouldn’t have hesitated to explore a relationship with her. I probably would have started one five years back. If we’d been together, I wouldn’t have looked twice at Toni. Not just out of some sense of loyalty or being faithful, but because Toni couldn’t hold a candle to Trixie.
