“Virginity is a social construct. It’s very harmful to women.”
“Tiffenie, this isn’t about gender. It’s about flavor.”
“What flavor is that?” Heaven snickered. “Cherry?”
I swiveled my head in shock and exclaimed, “Heaven! This is not funny.” To Vlad I said, “It’s just about keeping women ‘pure’for men, and keeping women from experiencing joy or pleasure. Fuck that.” I heard someone say that on TikTok and it really resonated.
“You say that as if I don’t enjoy male virgins. I assure you, I can taste the chastity.”
With the attitude of a diner waitress at the end of the night, I stomped into the kitchen and came back with a glass of coconut water, staring into his eyes and daring him to say something.
His jaw dropped. “You’re kidding.”
I didn’t respond.
“Is this even safe to consume?” He picked up the cup and swirled it, staring into the cloudy liquid like it was poison.
“I feel great,” I said. To be honest, I wasn’t sure if it was doing the trick,but I wasn’t going to tell him that.
Cat did an exaggerated model walk all the way to Vlad and then flopped over with a plop at his feet.
“Cat,” I admonished, “have some self-respect!”
Vlad scooped her up and cuddled her like a baby, rubbing her belly. “No need to be ashamed about asking for protection and love.”
I inspected my fingernails.
He arched an eyebrow and looked my direction. “Do you want me to rub your belly next?”
“Absolutely not.”
“Tiffenie. This is dire. Quaint small towns are not for vampires. Burning Bibles and posting it online—you are going to cause a stir if you haven’t already. People will start talking. ‘Tiffany seems so different these days.’ ‘She used to be such a nice girl.’ ‘What was she burning?’ ‘Why does she sleep all day?’ You are not being careful.”
Had being careful made me happy? Had I been really living in LA? Or had I just been hiding, working in a job that was only good because of access to blood, living in a too-sunny studio apartment that provided shelter but not much else? In Vermont I’d seen stars and flirted with a hot farmer. Tonight, I’d gone out with women who could be friends.
“The world is different these days, Vlad. Everyone is more accepting. Sexuality, gender…You can be whoever you want. Women can have credit cards and own property, in case you haven’t kept up with the news.”
“You know very well that it’s dangerous for people to be who they are, even ifpartsof the world are becoming more progressive.”
“Vlad, I’m not going to live in the shadows anymore. I have a hot chocolate date with a Chrithmas tree farmer tomorrow night, I’m making friends, and I’m fixing up a country inn.”
His eyes narrowed and he looked at me like I had just betrayed him. “A date?”
“Yes. With a Chrithmas tree farmer.” I stared him down, daring him to say something.
“We can’t even sayChrithmas.Isn’t that a sign?”
Heaven was still drooling at the bottle of blood, so I handed her another coconut water.
“This is worse than I thought,” Vlad said. “You absolutely need to get out of this town. The first rule of being a vampire is don’t talk about being a vampire.”
Heaven perked up. “LikeFight Club?”
“Exactly,” Vlad said. “See, Heaven gets it already. I bet you didn’t even tell her not to post.”
“Of course not!” I wasn’t going to wreck her job on top of everything else.
“What happens if you tell someone about Fight Club?” Heaven asked.
