PROLOGUE
Xavier Stone didn’t like to cry. He didn’t like the way it made his eyes sting or how his stomach twisted with every sob. Even worse, he hated to see his mom and brothers cry. Ever since they had left Moose Falls, his family unit had been falling apart at the seams. Packing up their belongings and leaving Alaska for Arizona had been terrible. The heat here was unbearable and nothing like what they were used to back home. He couldn’t wear any of his favorite sweaters here or his thick corduroys. Mama told them it almost never snows in Arizona. There wouldn’t be any sledding or snowboarding or dogsledding. Tears pricked his eyes, but he blinked them away.
Crying is for babies. His father’s voice buzzed in his ear, reminding him to always be tough.
He couldn’t cry. Wouldn’t cry. At ten years old he was the oldest, and it was his job to stay strong. Xavier was the man of the house now. They’d left their father behind in Moose Falls, and from what he’d overheard, his parents were getting a divorce. Things had been bad for a long time now, with fights and shouting and slammed doors. Those moments had always scared him and his brothers, exploding like fireworks in the night sky—noisy and unpredictable. They could have been having the best time of their lives right before the trouble started, when everything would suddenly go haywire.
Over time Xavier had learned to expect the explosions. He would clench his fists at his sides during the happy moments—Christmas morning, birthdays, Easter—because he’d learned not to trust the calm. And even though his father’s outbursts scared him, Xavier loved him with a fierceness that always confused him. He hadn’t wanted to leave his father behind, but he was angry at him for breaking their family apart. Xavier couldn’t stop thinking about him standing in the doorway with tears in his eyes as they had driven away, his deep baritone voice calling out their names.Daisy! Don’t leave me. Xavier knew it would be a long time before those cries would stop ringing in his ears. If ever.
His mother, Daisy Stone, was beautiful. Everyone said so. With her long, curly hair, toffee-colored skin, and big brown eyes, she was someone people always looked at. Whether they were at the supermarket or the bowling alley or church, folks always gravitated toward her grace and beauty.
She was at the center of their family. Everyone revolved around her the way the earth revolved around the sun. He thought of her as a living, breathing magnet. Grandpa Joe said she was pure sunshine and the brightest light in his life. He hadn’t stopped smiling since they had touched down at the Phoenix Sky Harbor Airport. Xavier didn’t know if Grandpa should be grinning so much considering the sad circumstances, but the old man was happy to be reunited with his baby girl. They were now living in the two-story home Xavier’s mother had grown up in.
The sound of his mother’s muffled sobs caused his stomach to clench as he walked down the hall. She probably thought they had all gone to sleep, but Xavier had stayed up to watch an episode ofThat’s So Ravenand ofSpongeBob SquarePants. Sitting on the couch and watching his favorite shows almost made him forget about the last twenty-fourhours. He knocked on his mother’s bedroom door and slowly turned the knob. The room was softly lit by the small lamp on the bureau. His mother, startled by his appearance, looked over at him with puffy, reddened eyes.
Without saying a word, he rushed to her side and lay down beside her. “Mom, are you all right? Can I get you anything? A cup of tea?” He grabbed a box of tissues from the bedside table and slid them across the bed toward her.
“Don’t worry about me, Xavier. I’m fine.” She reached out and tousled his head. “We’re all going to be just fine once we adjust.”
Adjust?The word sounded so mechanical. What they’d left behind in Alaska were pieces of their hearts. There was now a hole in the center of his chest that would be impossible to fill. Moose Falls wasn’t just any place. It was home. His grandmother had always said there was magic in every snowflake.
“Do you miss Moose Falls?” He swallowed past the huge lump in his throat. He really wanted to ask if she missed his dad, but he worried that doing so might make her even more tearful.
“The real question is how are you doing? I know it’s a lot.” Her lips trembled. “And I’m sorry, but—”
Xavier shrugged. “I’m doing okay,” he said in a low voice, cutting her off. He didn’t need to hear her say out loud why they’d left. They all knew it was because of their dad.
“It’s important that you get a good night’s sleep. You have school in the morning.”
Xavier let out a groan. He didn’t want to think about his first day at a new school. The other kids would probably think they were just some weirdos from Alaska. I mean, who started a new school in October? Everybody had probably known one another since kindergarten.
“Can’t I just stay here with you, Mom? You need me.”
She reached out and grazed her fingers across his cheek. “And you need to settle in and meet all the special friends who are going to be part of this new life of ours. I bet you’ll come back with a list of names and phone numbers as long as your arm.”
He let out a mutinous groan. Nothing would be as perfect as she imagined.
“Being the oldest means setting an example for Landon and Caleb. If you stay home, there’s no chance of me getting them to go.”
“Just once I want to be the youngest so I don’t have to set an example,” he grumbled. Xavier folded his arms across his chest and stuck his lip out. He was only ten years old, not a grown-up.
“Oh, Xavier. You’re just who you were meant to be. I’m the luckiest mom in the world to have you as my very own.” She nestled him against her chest. He wrapped his arms around her. “If you could only see the way Landon and Caleb look at you. In their eyes, you hung the moon. But if it ever gets too much for you, I want to know. Okay?”
He nodded. Itwaskind of cool being the oldest and having two brothers who looked up to him. But sometimes, he wished it didn’t feel like such a huge responsibility. What if one day he simply cracked under the pressure? He’d heard his grandmother talking about how his dad couldn’t handle pressure. Xavier didn’t want to be anything like him. Never in a million years.
“All right,” he agreed, wanting to soothe his mother. “I’m going to get ready for bed so I can be up bright and early for school.” He made his voice sound cheerful even though he felt lower than an ant’s belly.
“That’s my boy,” she said, a smile tugging at the sides ofher mouth. “I already tucked your brothers in a while ago, but I can tuck you in if you like.”
At ten years old, he was getting too old for tuck-ins, although it sounded so comforting. He needed to focus on helping his family adjust to life away from Moose Falls. He needed to be a big boy.
“It’s okay. Just get some rest.” He winked at her. “You’re going to need all your strength to make me chocolate chip pancakes in the morning.”
Xavier padded down the hall toward his bedroom after brushing his teeth and splashing his face with water. Getting used to a new house was hard. Everything was different here. He kind of missed sharing a room with his brothers, while at the same time he was looking forward to more privacy.
As he walked past his brothers’ room, the soft glow of the moon-shaped night-light drew his attention. Landon had trouble sleeping without one, and he was fascinated by space. The sound of sniffling reached Xavier’s ears, and he gently pushed the door open. He knew immediately it was Landon. Xavier quickly looked over at Caleb’s twin bed. He was lightly snoring with his sheets all tangled, his legs sprawled.
“Hey, buddy. What’s wrong?” Xavier asked as he sank down on the bed beside Landon.
